by Bee Rock

Created on: July 09, 2008   Last Updated: March 31, 2012

Closure

As I sat there looking across the table at the woman
that I love I became reflective. What will she think
when she sees the man that "changed her life forever"
the one that had her life in his hand the one that
taught her to go against the mainstream and read into
everything.
Then- he was there. I looked at him- this was not like
the last time years ago when I met the man that the

woman I loved at the time was still in love with. Then
I was the dominant male, he couldn't touch me, he was
small, and insignificant in my eyes. This time though,
it was different. His blond hair was frazzled, yet
perfectly in place. I knew it was him instantly and
said to her- "there he is..." Her eyes seemed to
almost roll back in her head like a medical patient
losing consciousness on the road to death. She seemed
to try and hide from him at first but I encouraged her
to look at him and talk to him just as I for some
unforeseen reason had been encouraging her to take this
journey, almost unconsciously as if guided by some
cosmic heavenly hand. He stopped and looked.
Recognition crossed his face, a mischievous smile
played at his lips. This was the enemy. This was the
one that I had heard about so much. Relief and sheer
terror met together in my mind like two trains
colliding at high speeds in the middle of the night,
each one not knowing the other was there until it was
to late.
I watched her like a hawk. Her eyes opened very wide.
She had a smile on her face like I had never seen
before. I hated it. I felt the inside of my chest
tighten and my hands turned instantly into a sweaty
slimy mass of uncooperative jello. My throat
tightened, my eyes twitched. I was suddenly the
outsider. I was suddenly all alone. I became a doctor.
My patient was here lying on the table, her vital
signs slowing. The disease was looking at her, about
to devour her at any moment. I wanted to scream to an
imaginary staff around me "Give her some room! Back
up! I need Thorazine stat! Prep her!" But she smiled.
They started the small talk. He told her he'd been
thinking of her. I felt a cold calm rage build within
my inner soul. He'd been thinking of her. My knees
felt on fire, my stomach became a swirling ocean. I
could feel sweat forming in-between my toes and on the
bridge of my feet. I watched her. "I've been thinking
of you too" she said. Incredulous, I wanted to scream
"No, you haven't been! You've been with me!" I wanted
to stand up and tell him how she'd been with me and
for how long and to what extent. But instead I let a
smile play at

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