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Life lessons are learned in many different ways. An important abstract life lesson is learning to have a giving spirit and being generous toward others. The spirit of Santa Claus is one way we can expose our children to this life lesson about generosity. For this reason alone, perpetuating the myth of Santa Claus is good for our children.

By reading classic fairytales to our young children we introduce them to the world of fantasy. It is magical to imagine that an adventuresome boy can fly, or a servant girl can turn into a princess, marry a prince charming and live happily ever after. We wouldn't want to deprive our children of listening to and enjoying these fanciful stories.

Nor would we want to deprive them of believing for the short duration of their innocent childhoods that they are so special and deserving, a fatherly figure might reward them with their heart's desires in the form of presents. Coinciding with the concept of Santa Claus we can also present to the child that Christmas is about giving and pleasing others.

When we take the child Christmas shopping for presents to wrap for his siblings and relatives, he quickly learns the pleasure in being the giver. Even the smallest child revels in keeping the secret of his wrapped offerings, and delights when the secret is revealed upon opening and the receipient displays pleasure. How rapidly the child learns the profound meaning of, "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Eventually the child becomes aware that Santa Claus is right up there with Cinderella and Peter Pan as a fantasy "celebrity.' By the time the child is old enough to grasp this reality, the real magic of Christmas has been instilled and he retains the joy and fun surrounding the spirit of giving.

If you choose to incorporate Santa Claus into your child's belief system, here are some practical ground rules:

* Santa Claus should not be assigned a disciplinarian role.

I cringe when I hear parents admonishing their child to "be good" or Santa won't come. To the parent this might be harmful teasing, but to the child, such an admonishment could instill anxiety during a season that should be all about fun and celebration.

* Direct lies are not acceptable.

If the child asks outright about the existence of Santa Claus he requires a suitable explanation. When my own children approached me wanting clarification of playground rumors, I said that I believed in the spirit of Christmas and therefore I believed in Santa, but they were free to disbelieve

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