by John Graham

Created on: July 08, 2008

No, of course not, the French do not kiss everyone, but, on the other hand Americans HUG everyone.

Of course, in France friends on meeting will kiss' each other, or more properly buzz', cheek-to-cheek on each side. Very rarely do the cheeks touch and certainly no lips touch other lips so it is a very polite and human gesture to acknowledge their friendship.

On the other hand, a later-comer to a group in Europe (not only in France) will make a point of acknowledging everyone's presence by shaking their hands individually. This is so expected that the group will make way for the handshaking to be done. In such a group only special friends will kiss.'

In Flanders, in my wife's family, the kissing greeting is usually done three times and they joke that the closer to the Mediterranean you get the more times you should kiss when you greet someone, but that is simply a joke.

On the other hand American visitors to Europe seem to expect to be kissed at least by the French. It's perhaps part of the mythology of France that goes along with French fries (actually Belgian frites), French windows (invented in Britain) and more.

However, the most intrusive greeting between relative strangers is practiced in the United States. It is the hug, or to a newcomer from Europe, the HUG.

When one first comes to the United States and experiences the HUG, it is as though your privacy had been invaded. This person, whoever he or she is, clasps you around your torso and you have no chance to avoid it. Moreover, it lasts for a monstrous length of time as you try to shrink from the embrace. As a character in a famous British comedy once said, "I am not comfortable with this level of intimacy."

A HUG is very much an invasion of one's space whereas the European kiss' is so much more refined.

I believe the American is perhaps the only animal that hugs. Most animals smell each other on meeting while a few touch noses. Cats sit back, watch carefully, and then start cleaning themselves.

I suspect that Americans HUG only to prevent the other person from drawing a gun. I can think of no other reason.

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