4 of 8

Father

Write now Article Tools

I believe there are times when you need to talk to your Mom but I have always found it easier to actually communicate with my father. I have tried hard to be more understanding with my own children but I can see that when it comes to the tough questions: financial, education, etc. they too tend to veer to their Father.

This made me question why that is. I believe as Mothers we get the boo-boos that can be kissed away, the acne and the heartbreak when they don't get invited to a party. But we also get the daily one on one nagging of getting them to clean their rooms, eat properly and get their schoolwork done. Over the years they know we will be there when they are sick or down and we will be at all of their games cheering our hearts out but they never really see us past themselves. We are their Mom and while we may know more about them than anyone else, we aren't the person they turn to when they need unbiased opinions. After all, in our eyes they are perfect and we often base our statements and opinions with those feelings.

In steps Dad. Sure he's always been there too, but in a less emotional way than Mom. Dad didn't sit there crying when their son got his first haircut or sleep next to the crib when his first born might be catching a cold: but Mom did. And when their son played sports Mom was there carpooling, bringing snacks and cheering on the sidelines. Dad on the other hand was coaching them on how to throw a curveball or cover the left side of the soccer net. They were already seeing that Mom was there in heart and spirit, Dad was there to guide them.

As our children grow, the pattern continues. when it comes time for them to drive, we Mom's get them to Drivers Ed at 6am, go over the driving manual with them by the hour and even take them out on the highway a few times. When it comes time to take their test, it is Mom who gets them up there, takes them for ice cream afterwards (if they pass or fail) and then gets the honor of being their first passenger as a licensed driver. But it was Dad who taught them to shift in his truck and/or guided them in and out of parallel parking in an empty parking lot. And while they both worried the first time the new driver drove alone, it is Mom that still worries a year later.

So, when it comes to an important bend in the road, why wouldn't a child turn to their Dad? He has from day one loved them and guided them in the right direction. He didn't get emotional when they went to first grade (and every other grade), he didn't over react when they skinned their knee and he never called another parent over a disagreement you had with a classmate.

I think the strongest reason a child will find it easier to turn to, and communicate with their Father is that he is able to see his children as young adults, capable of making the right decision. They may need a bit of guidance along the way, but they can do it. We Mothers on the other hand, will always see them as our children. Children that hold a piece of our hearts forever and we can never truly sit back and see them any other way. It's not a bad thing by any means but it does warp our view of things a bit. Dad's have a better ability to see the situation as it is and base their advice on that and not on what the child wants to hear. And when it comes to important decisions, that is exactly what all of us need.

Learn more about this author, Karla Watson.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Is communication easier with a mother or a father??
We want to hear your view. Write now!