by Patricia Rainford

Created on: July 08, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Ah, the Battle of the Bulge. For most people, being overweight is something they've struggled with most of their lives. Therefore, it isn't a "battle". A battle suggests a short burst of struggle. For most people "war" is the most appropriate term.

My weight problem began in childhood, even before I was considered fat by my peers. My grandparents had custody of me and my grandmother was so obsessed with my weight that I often went hungry. When I had the chance to eat, I would, even if it meant overeating because I knew that my grandmother wouldn't let me eat much if anything anytime soon. Even when I'd go out to eat with other family members, my grandmother would tell me, "You can only order a plain baked potato. You better not eat anything else." When I finally was released from her controlling hand when I was fourteen, I ate out of control. My parents weren't as controlling when it came to food. I could eat what I wanted when I wanted and the only thing I can think of that made me overeat was the fact that for so many years I was deprived and would eat what I could, when I could. I gained much weight during that time in my teens and stayed that way throughout my first marriage. When my first marriage failed, I quit eating so much, not really for the purpose of losing weight but because I was depressed at my husband leaving me for another woman. I was never that down about my weight. Of coarse I knew I was "big" but I had gotten used to the guys at school never paying attention to me, I was used to the occasional name calling. My weight never stopped me when it came to auditioning for the community theater and it never crossed my mind that maybe I was too fat to be in the production; I always thought maybe I didn't sing well enough.

Now, fast forward to after my divorce. I lost a good bit of weight and began to see myself in a different light. So I began to work out to maintain that look and to tone up. It was the best I ever looked in my life. What was even more shocking to me was the change in the general public's behavior towards me. I discovered, after years of dealing with people looking right over my head, or pretending I wasn't there, or being downright rude, mean, and nasty towards me, suddenly with my weight loss, the general public transformed into a softer, more gentle public. Doors were being opened for me, words were spoken with up most respect, and this came from men and women alike. And as if that wasn't eye-opening enough, I was suddenly classified

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