by Natasha Mitchell

Created on: July 08, 2008

I use to believe that people should stay together even if they were unhappy, sexually dissatisfied, sick of the other person( at times) and wish for divorce or just hope to live a shorter life just to end the misery . But it isn't just my husband and myself it is my poor children ,although they are grown and almost an adult . They suffer watching my health deteriorate . As they watch me become someone I no longer love or can stand to look at in the mirror. I believe we have to be good to ourselves ,not just for me but for our children and family that will always be family no matter who walks in or out of our lives.I am a firm believer that when you love someone ,if you have indeed loved that person it is forever no matter what.But to physically stay in the same home and in a one sided marriage is a death sentence.I no longer wish to be a shell of the person I use to be, I want to be loved and not continually forced to be a fake person. Just to fit a idea of what they want me to be for them never a compromise, a type of mental and some times physical slavery.It is truly better for me to have left. Although a very hard thing to do after 7 years and I still love and care for my husband and always will. I have left for peace of mind and for the love of my children, even without a job or financial security (which is very hard ) I am still content and at peace with my decision and my children are happier too. I miss my husband, but I am happy to be and know me again. So I do not believe "personally" that people should give in to self at the first argument but when your life has turned into wishing for death do us part as soon as possible .It is definitely time to leave your marriage and begin healing .Leaving doesn't necessarily mean you hate your spouse it just could be that you have decided to care for yourself.That is just one of the reasons I have for leaving and moving back to my home state and family . I was forced to be seperated from them for seven long years although not necessary by the miles in between but by jealousy on my spouses part.I hoped for the best and for change that never came by talk ,crying ,counceling ,arguing nothing seemed to help .Not for long anyway , there was always the short term peace of a week or so .But even that became few and far in between .I am a hearth and home, caring security minded person so to say this was one of the hardest , most thought out things I have ever did is an understatement.But worth all the tears , the sleepless nights ,more tears ,sadness, wishing things had been different. and doing what is best for all especially myself and family PRICELESS.

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