There are times it seems that your heart has been broken for good. The pain of loss and the agony of grief can be so overwhelming. Maybe you're going through a bitter and acrimonious divorce. Maybe you still love your partner but now, to him or her, you are just a pest that should be gotten rid of.

Maybe you are faced with the sudden death of a cherished child. A bright and adorable child for whom you had great hopes and dreams.......

In both situations above, it is right to grieve. It is right cry, to feel that your world has come to end. But, after a while, it is also right to put and end to grief and move on. Life is a beautiful painting shadowed sometimes by the pain of loss and grief.

Those who have known the lacerating whiplash of grief (and who hasn't?) will tell you this. It is difficult to move on. But, fortunately, we are gifted with the resilience of the human spirit. So, move on we must.

The purpose of this article is to examine the steps from shock to grief, grief to resignation and then, the gradual return to life after the grieving is over.

1 CRY
It is all right to cry. That is what you have tear ducts for. So, weep and let the tears serve as a catharsis to wash away your grief.

2 CONTEMPLATE
Take time to ponder the "why" and "how" of what has happened to you. Recognize the fact that you are not a peculiar case and seek solace in the fact that the birds of grief can nest in any body's tree - including you own.

3 TALK
Don't keep your experience battled up inside you. Seek out people who have suffered the same fate that you have and share your experience. This is called group therapy without the presence of a shrink!

4 ACCEPT
One feature of a traumatic experience in some cases is denial. You want to escape from the painful reality and seek solace in the delusion of denial. I advise that you accept what has happened and move on. The future is more important than the past,and in any case, 'there is no future in the past'.

5 HAVE A SPIRITUAL ANCHOR
Whether we like it or not, there are things that happen to us that we simply cannot understand with our intellectual abilities alone. This is time to seek for answers in the concept of God. it doesn't matter if you are Christian or Jew, Muslim or Hindu. The fact is simply this: recognize that you don't have all the answers. But God does. And that should give your mind some peace!

6 BE OPTIMISTIC
There is no profit in pessimism. Ralph Waldo Emerson put his finger on it when he said "The sun shines after every storm, there is a solution to every problem and the soul's highest duty is to be of good cheer."

Overcome your grief and begin to live again. Peace and love!

Learn more about this author, Emmanuel Osondu.
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