by Amanda Blake

Created on: July 07, 2008

What happened to my grade A life plan? Somehow it seems that plan A was replaced by a substitute which involves a job where the highlight of each day is finishing at 4:30pm and it feels like Groundhog Day brought to life. One where I get jealous of goldfish and their two second memory: at least you could then forget how monotonous things are. At 18 my plans involved a job writing in the media or being a top level rider, maybe in a relationship had a future and definitely in my own place.

Instead the opposite happened. A mundane 9 to 5 and moving out seems more like a vague dream than a possibility. So the question now is, how to make those things happen? Job applications are a start, as is reviewing and overhauling that ancient CV. The biggest obstacle however is money (or lack of it thereof). Without the finances available, how do they become viable? Last week I started to write down everything that was spent on a daily basis. And that means EVERYTHING. That tea first thing from the local caf may only costs 1 but over a month that means nearly 30 on hot water and a large number of paper cups. Buying a pack of teabags may seem unappealing, and require slightly more effort, but if that packet costs 99 pence for a month long supply you do the maths. Magazines, papers, little snacks and things like that. Each item costs a small amount, but when it becomes apparent that each day can see anywhere up to 10 disappearing from my wallet. Over a month, that's a hell of a lot of money going on nothing.

Ultimately none of my plans can happen without the financial resources that are currently lacking. Even a studio (i.e. shoebox) room will need a deposit of about 400+ plus bills etc. Without a new job, my best solution may be to cut back wherever possible and save as much as I can and then increase this amount when (not if) that new job becomes a reality.

Sometimes you have to decide what's really important at the time. Priorities can shift, even without any warning, and what seemed to be important a few days ago may have to become a short rather than a long term goal. Last week I would never have even contemplated owning a horse and now it's a reality. However that does mean that moving has to wait. Like I said, your priorities can change. If staying at home means not losing BB then that's what has to happen. Ultimately you have to weigh up the options and see which is most important. The choice you make might not always be the most sensible or rational but sometimes you have to decide on which goal will leave you most satisfied.

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