by Joann Rangel

Created on: July 06, 2008   Last Updated: July 16, 2008

Are you sure, you know exactly what you are getting yourself into by dating someone that has children?

I think that when people start dating they should carry around a questionnaire card, have that question on hand. That way they can check it off; do you have kids, check, is there drama, check, you think you can handle it, check, uncheck, undecided! So they can be warned, and truly understand what they are signing up for.

Some people say they would do it and it would not bother them having to deal with some other baby's Daddy or Mommy drama, but oh, how they are so wrong! It takes someone with a stronger-then-average will to deal with all that chaos, believe me! It is like doing that polar bear jump when you went to camp. Everyone is telling you to do it, but you are still hesitant, and most of your peers jump into that extremely cold water, and come out unscathed. However, when you actually do it and you hit that water full force, first thing that pops in your head is...omg! Why in the hell did I jump into that water, for what, and did it really prove anything? Then you come out soaking wet, needing a change of clothes, looking around for a towel to grab, and nothing! Now the true test is can you make it back to camp dripping, soaking wet, and freezing? That is somewhat how it is to become an instant family; can you really stand the cold?

I lost a good friend of mine who started having feelings for me and I took out that trusty questionnaire and read the checklist off for him. He answered it the way I know every love struck person would answer, then I gave him the truth on how it will really go down! I told him that regardless of what he claims now, his answers would definitely change from definite to indefinite. I come with a lot of baggage, four kids, two fathers, I refuse to have any more children, he has no children of his own, and that is just the icing on the cake. My lifestyle comes with more drama then any soap opera show out there!

Nevertheless, he did not quite understand and he refuses to speak to me now because he thought I was turning him down. When in fact I was only warning him of the unknown, like that robot on that television show," You are in danger Will Robinson". He did not see it that way and took great offense. How was I so wrong telling someone of the danger that lay ahead of them? Should I let them find out on their own and not care about how they feel? I know I would have liked it if my ex could have told me that his divorce was ugly and so was his ex wife. Who would have dug my grave for me if she had the chance! I wished someone could have warned me of the arguments that waited for me. See that is what happens when you try to be a Good Samaritan; it bites you in the rear.

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