My Fourth of July

Oh, what a day. The 4th of July. I awoke early to plan my day. Let's see; the beach, the park, a game. I chose the park. The beaches are polluted and I don't like crowds.
Ok, what to bring. The barbeque, the ice chest (of course), the blankets, the food, the kid's toys; that big box of fireworks; what a glorious day.

What to eat? Hamburger? No there's a contaminated meat scare on right now and that on the heels of a mad cow breakout, so I can't expose my family to that. Hotdogs. Well they're pork and fat and my cholesterol is getting dangerously high they say. Steaks. All that fat, the meat scares and you can't easily find organic corn fed and who can afford it. The best meat I saw in a specialty store for $29.95 a pound. I doubt a pound would feed a family of 5 and I'm not going to spend $60 on a 4th of July picnic.

Chicken would be OK for the cholesterol but I can't help seeing those chickens all penned up in a cage they can't even turn around in and fed growth hormone, the killer steroid that's apparently legal for chickens. Lamb is just something you don't eat on the 4th. I'll talk to my wife about veggie burgers; the kids won't know the difference. And no tomatos. That e-coli outbreak in tomatos isn't really over yet and this family certainly doesn't need e-coli. I wonder if pickles and lettuce are OK. I quess, except for the life threateing pestacides, they're OK. I haven't seen any killer lettuce-yet. No more 60 minutes for me.

Now the barbeque. Need to check the gas, clean the grill. Test out the fire. Hey but wait a minute. A report I saw said that eating bar-b-q can cause cancer. We're getting along in our 40s. Probably should reduce the risks. Maybe we could cook it at home and just take it with us. I gotta quit watching TV; it's scary. But do barbequed veggie burgers have the same risk? I don't know. Probably could look it up on Google. I'm sure they would have a couple a million hits or so on it. I'll talk to my wife.

Of course she's probably not too hip on the park because of her allergies. And we could get attacked by a swarm of killer bees (just kidding; I hope). Well you know the park's good fun for the animals to run and play. But wait. They're finding dead mutilated cats in Riverside. What if? Better leave the cat home this trip until they catch the Jack the Ripper of cats. Yuck! Dog should be OK unless he runs away or is kidnapped.

But all's not lost. We still have the fireworks. That's what

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