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With my third child approaching her senior year in a state college (the one from which I acquired my bachelor's degree), I would say that private colleges are not necessarily better. Some campuses might be more beautiful; the Ivy League atmosphere may be tinged with elitism that puts your ego a step above the rest, but in the long run for most people, they are not always the best choice.

A friend of my daughter's is attending Fordham University. How could anyone argue with their standards and the Jesuit tradition? I grew up in the Bronx not far from the Fordham University campus. It was a tough neighborhood then, not less so now. When you walk through the iron gates of the campus, you are in another world. You feel it; you're a part of something older than you can imagine. Unfortunately, you don't get to imagine the bill. Tuition is about $34,000, room and board another $12-$15000, add living expenses to that. It staggers me to think of $45,000 plus a year. Her friend's thinking about law school. How can you sleep nights? How different is it from a state school, not different enough!

I'm sure there are opportunities. You might be taught by someone really famous or meet someone really famous but that doesn't guarantee that when you walk through the gates the day after graduation you will benefit from that brief liaison. You will, however, have the bill, all four year's of it. Some students imagine a great job. It might happen but the debt, added to the living expenses in an area where that great job might be will still be overwhelming.

It's not just about the money. My daughter started at a private school and our experience - everything was a problem. I didn't expect that nor did I appreciate it. We found full force that elitism can turn on you when you least expect it. Have a little more pragmatic approach to life, think about finances and ask questions, somehow we weren't quite what we should be, not quite the correct fit. I challenged a department head on a course decision he had made regarding a course my daughter had taken at a two year community college and in the most condescending voice he told me that he was sure I would think he was an elitist but those colleges weren't quite the same quality. They were quality enough when recruiters were looking for prospective transfers; they were quality enough when reciprocal agreements were established but one on one, the truth came out. His shock; I was an adjunct at that college.

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