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Things definitely change when a parent goes from being a parent to being a grandparent. My father was very strict. We were spanked if we even looked at him funny. The spankings were not just a little warning tap. They were him lifting us up by one arm and hitting us multiple times until we had welts on our back. The welts would not go away right away. Sometimes they lasted for days. My dad spanked me all through high school. I was usually humiliated the very few times that I was able to invite friends over. No matter what I did, there was going to be something I did wrong.

We cleaned most of the time that we were not in school, church, sleeping, or eating. My mom was very particular about the cleaning. I remember her going in with a white glove and wiping it behind the toilet to be sure there was not any dust or urine. Her form of discipline was usually yelling. We didn't get spanked by her a lot. When we did get hit by her it was usually with an object, like a hanger. I had a bedtime of 6 p.m. until I was in high school and it was 8 p.m. unless I was at a sport or church event. We didn't have a lot of fun at all. We were not really able to be a "kid" like we were supposed to.

The role of my parents certainly changed when they became grandparents. My mother, until her death, was very protective of my children. She particularly was protective of my oldest child. She would let him stay up late and watch movies with her. They'd play with stickers for hours late at night. When I did try to discipline my son, which was a time-out, she'd stop me saying my son was okay in what he was doing. If I ever raised my voice to my children, she'd stop me. I never dared spank my children around her.

My father, especially recently has been very nosey into my children's lives. My oldest son is a pretty violent boy. He is a bully at school and especially to his younger brother. In the car the other day, he punched my other son so hard in the face that he was bleeding all over and had a black eye and bruised nose. The aggressiveness in him has got out of control. It has to be stopped before he ends up getting kicked out of school or hurting someone else worse than he has.

While I was leaving my father's house a few months ago, my oldest son grabbed me from behind and was choking me, while he was on my back. I asked him to let go several times and tried ripping his hands off my neck. When I was able to pry his hands off my neck, I raised my voice at him. My son started crying. My dad

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