by Renee Morgan

Created on: July 05, 2008   Last Updated: August 26, 2009

Trust and communication are the main two ingredients for a healthy relationship. Without the two there is no relationship.

Communication is what starts a relationship; it is what we use in order to get to know one another. You begin by talking about your life, your childhood, family, education; job and etc, when you do this you are beginning the building of the trust level. If I trust you enough to communication to you, a stranger, my life story, and telling you my likes and dislikes, and then I must be feeling that trust factor kicking in.

I do have the gift of gab, but I know how to listen also. So if you are not communicating with me I then feel as though you do not trust me. I will feel like I said or did something wrong. This is why I need communication, if you do not tell me what I did wrong, how am I not to do it again? With all this said, I will start to have insecurities in our relationship and with the insecurities (I wrote an article for "Dealing with insecurities in a relationship"), I will start to lose any trust that I might have had, I then will begin to have lots conversations with myself ("A conversation with myself", my featured article) and this will turn into lack of communication with you because I am talking to myself. Now can you see how the circle keeps rolling? As silly as this may sound this is what will happen to a relationship if there is no communication and trust; the relationship will keep spinning in the mud.

As adults, we should be able to talk about anything with the person we are in a relationship with. I have always been an open book and I can take disagreement and constructive criticism, I might not like what I hear but I well listen to what my partner has to say. I want my partner to be a person that is easy to talk to and trustworthy.

Again, if there is something that you do not like and it can be changed, how am I to know if you do not tell me? Tell me if you do not like the hair color I use, or the extra short black s which I love to wear every chance I get. Tell me if you think I get just a little too loud at the office party, or I flirt too much with your boss and please do not just sit through dinner in silence; this will make me think that you do not want to be there with me.

Lack of communication has destroyed thousands of friendships, families, marriages, jobs and relationships. These are all things that most of us find important, but we manage to rip a gapping hole in these relationships because of the lack of communication and trust.

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