"Character," the way people's personal beliefs determine their behaviors in their world, cannot be "taught" in the sense of "imparting knowledge;" however, it can be developed, and that development begins at birth and continues until death.

At the first breath of life, a baby begins to experience the world; and absolutely everything that child experiences, helps or hinders the development of character. If the parents are nurturing, caring people, they begin the process of developing similar attitudes and behaviors in the child. Conversely, if the parents are neglectful or cruel, a much different set of values begins to develop.

As the child grows, each individual in the child's life encourages or discourages certain behaviors. Parents, siblings, extended family members, teachers, coaches, neighbors, religious leaders, even society and the media, contribute to the development of a person's character.

If any of these individuals think that they can set aside a finite period of time to "teach character," they are sadly mistaken! The recipients of these "teachings" pay far more attention to the ACTIONS of their family, teachers, clergy, and others than they do to their words. Character is cumulative and ever growing.

Honesty, reliability, determination, diligence, empathy for the less fortunate, cooperativeness, courage, strong work ethic-these are but a few of the attributes held by a person of "good character." But how can these be "taught" by anybody? If one tells someone how to act, but does not demonstrate it in real life situations, it simply becomes a lecture or sermon.

All the experiences, good and bad, that people have in life determine their characters. An honest person has developed that sense after being exposed to honest role models who have shown that honesty rewards people; and after being exposed to dishonesty, which inevitably happens in the course of a lifetime, people can "feel" the difference in that experience; thus, their perceptions of the experience alter their character traits.

How does one develop a strong work ethic? The development of that trait comes from working hard, and then seeing and "feeling" the results- accomplishments, pride, rewards, and satisfaction. No one can teach that feeling. It must be experienced!

The attribute of courage cannot possibly be developed without a person facing fear, danger, or distress. Situations present themselves, and the individual's responses develop into their characters. Dependability is not learned from a book or a person; it develops over time only after encountering and dealing with numerous varied experiences.

Empathy develops from observing fellow human beings in all walks and phases of life, and "feeling" their pain, joy, sorrow, anger, or any of the many other reactions that come from life experiences. When people can incorporate other people's feelings into their own, character is developed. Perhaps, the biggest single deterrent to one's character development, is for someone who wants to "teach" good character to say the words, "You should feel or do....." "Should's" must arise from within!

In conclusion, while I believe character can be influenced by others, I do not believe that it can be taught. Character develops over time and is not static. Every new experience in life demands a response; and that response occurs because of former experiences and their outcomes. Character deveops in everyone continuously, and is measured by others continuously.
Character is a person's reaction to life.

Learn more about this author, Martha Heidebrecht.
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