by Simon Wright

Created on: July 04, 2008   Last Updated: July 07, 2008

The first dance at a wedding is always a special moment. It's special enough for the gathered guests but even more so for the newly weds. They may have already had a moment in the spotlight when taking their vows but the first dance is another moment in the spotlight and it signals that it's time to get the evening's festivities under way.

In the weeks and months leading up to the wedding, however, the pressure is on to choose the right song. You want a song that it going to lend itself to the whirl of emotions and affection that you feel for the other person and, of course, you need to get a song that is special for both of you.

How, then, do you go about choosing just one song from the hundreds or thousands of great songs that you both like? In the case of myself and my wife, it didn't take us long to decide on a song. We already had a song that we considered to be our song' so that made things pretty easy. By the way, that song was a Katie Melua song, called Nine million bicycles' and was a song that I'd purchased for my wife (or then girlfriend) when I'd been away on a holiday in Ireland with my brothers. It's a suitably romantic slow number and was perfect for what we wanted.

For those, though, who don't already have a signature tune to their relationship, there are some steps that you can take to help guide you to the song that's perfect for you.

1. If you're employing a wedding co-ordinator or a DJ, they will be able to supply you with lists of songs that are commonly played at weddings. This may help give you ideas about possible songs to choose from.

2. Go through your record collections and highlight any songs that you particularly like.

3. Think about what tempo of song you want? Do you want a slow number to dance to, or a more energetic high tempo song? With this in mind, draw up a shortlist of possible songs.

4. Having drawn up your shortlist, have a conversation about which song to select. Hopefully, you will come to the same conclusion on which is most appropriate.

I suppose this raises the question of what happens if you and your partner disagree on the choice of song? Thankfully, that was never the case for me and my bride. However, I think my advice (in such a situation) would be to talk things through and try to reach a compromise that leaves both of you happy. Failing that, I'd suggest that the groom graciously accepts his bride's choice as I think (in most cases) it's the bride rather than the groom who has dreamt about that big day since childhood. Your role is to help make her fairytale day come true!

My final advice would be to remember that it's your wedding, so it's got to be your choice. You've got to be sure that it's something that you're going to be happy to dance to and that it fits in with how you feel about your love and your big day. Don't allow yourself to be unduly influenced by what you think other people may think of the song. They're going to be so happy for you both that they're not going to worry that you've chosen a rock song rather than a slushy pop song.

Talking of such matters, I once saw a clip on U-Tube of a bride and groom who had chosen the Michael Jackson classic Thriller' and had everyone doing the moves from Jackson's pop video! It looked like they were having great fun and demonstrates perfectly the importance of going with what fits with your personalities!

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