by Greg Rouse

Created on: July 04, 2008

Letting go of what's got you.

Eclectic, jacked up and spinning around between blurred lines of perception, understanding and acceptance. I hate this. I'm caught or rather stuck with a solution that I, myself would have not chosen to begin with if it was all left up to me. Well, not only is this choice' forced upon me but it seems that I have to be the one who must carry it out. Not fair, in my opinion. Where do you draw the lines?

I'm a guy so I like things to be drawn out and identified. I like straight lines with sharp edges that clearly show where things go. If I'm moving furniture and I have a square piece then I know it fits in the corner or over there in that square shaped area. But love is not like that. Nothing fits where you would think it should. Nothing has clearly identifiable shapes.

I took a chance and stepped out on my principles so that I could be guided by Love. But with not knowing this vital, this key information I have found my self with a bunch of misshapen, unrecognizable waste products of trying to find who I am now that I'm back on my own. I don't recognize myself and decision-making these days causes my brain to ache. I have too much to weigh out to many things to consider, my life is no longer simple and now I don't even have her to help me through it. Sounds like I'm whining, well, I am! How am I supposed to move on or let go of something that has such a grip on me? I'm mean, really, who has who around here?

I'm still captivated by her, still in Love, but nothing seems that clear about this to her; except her desire to leave. So here I am; standing, ready, willing hoping that she would change her mind. See what I'm talking about? I'm trapped. I need help being able to let go of this, because it has such a hold on me. I can see so much way out in front of me, but don't want to take that step because she won't be coming with me. Love is a great reward and a powerful sorrow. Is this Love or am I afraid of change? I say it's Love. Why, because I asked myself "Could she be replaced?" That answer is No! So I'm not afraid of change. I AM IN LOVE.

With time, I have been told, things will get better. It will be easier to deal with. And sooner or later you will be able to fully move on. I don't want to move on. That is I don't want to ever stop loving her. How am I going to deal with this? Well, first of all, I thank my God and Savior that He is there with me. He has blessed me with many talents and gifts. So here's what; I am going to turn my

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>