by Kelley Gecik

Created on: July 03, 2008

Germany and the German language always held a mystical quality to me. From the history to the food to the characteristics of its people, I longed to be a part of it. When I was 18 I traveled to Germany for the first time as an Au-Pair. I lived with a German family, took care of their children and got to travel a bit as well. Before I went I imagined coming home speaking perfect German. I thought all the children would be blonde. Mostly I expected the family and I to love each other and be in touch for years to come.

That's not quite how it went. I did learn German, especially the bad words. I learned them because that's what the children would call me. When the boy, Moritz, flipped me off at the dinner table, his parents ignored him. He called me about every name in the book without punishment. The line was drawn after he called me a whore.

The family and I didn't love each other. They looked at me as a domestic servant rather than a cultural exchange student that would also take care of their children. They complained about my cleaning, about my not picking up after them. They didn't like that I addressed them with the informal "du".

Germany itself was great. I rode my bike through the vast, sweeping countryside. I bought french fries heaped with mayonaise and spicy ketchup. I drank my fill of beer, making my underage friends at home jealous with my stories. I met friends from around the world. I marveled at the ease of public transportation. Mostly I learned about myself. I had to navigate through a very different culture, with different expectations and social attitudes. One thing that I found very difficult was how closed off the people seemed. I remember feeling so lonely, that one day in a department store I would go up to random strangers, one after the other, and ask them what time it was. I wanted human contact, to see if I could spark a conversation, but there was nothing.

Upon returning home I felt like I didn't quite have the impression of Germany that I had been looking for and I still wanted to perfect my speaking. So I went back, this time as an Au-Pair for another family. The experience was much different. This family was open, friendly and made me feel like their friend. I made great friends and traveled easily through nine European countries. At the end of my year stay, I contemplated staying on to go to school. Sometime in the year, I realized my heart was in the United States. I was tired of grouchy cashiers at the grocery store, mullets and the fact that many apartment rentals do not include a kitchen.

I visit every now and then and the family and I stayed in touch for many years. I've moved on now, but think back fondly to my stay in the Fatherland.

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