by Sean O'Leary

Created on: July 03, 2008   Last Updated: September 22, 2008

Subtitled; "M. Night Shyamalan brings Roger, Rerun, and Dwayne back for an all new adventure in Bucks County. Can Mom bail them out this time?"

Disclaimer; Normally I try not to have spoilers in my movie reviews. In this case, I am INTENTIONALLY putting spoilers in here because the film was actually THAT BAD that I don't want anyone to bother to spend their money to see it. Read on at your own risk.

I'll be the first to admit that I absolutely loved "The Sixth Sense," "Signs," and even "Lady in the Water." I enjoyed "Unbreakable," and never got the chance to see "The Village."

But this....this....monstrosity should have never left the cutting room floor. Between terrible acting, a terrible screenplay, and a plot that kills itself faster than the actors in the film, the fact that M. Night actually sank money into this stinker astounds me. He would have been smarter to remake "Battlefield Earth," or maybe "Ishtar."

The plot is a very simple one; Humanity has finally pissed off plant life for the last time, but instead of pulling up roots and walloping the humans The Day of the Triffids style, they simply let loose some silent-but-deadly planet farts that make any humans catching a whiff of the photosynthetic flatulence babble like autistic toddlers then kill themselves with the first tool that comes to hand. What amazes me about this is that while the afflicted humans have a tendency to start walking backwards, and seem to have forgotten the meaning behind whatever they were saying, they're still coherent enough to operate complex tools like guns or heavy machinery. Yes, that guy you saw laying down in front of the lawn mower in the preview? He started that mower. Frankly I don't think we were given enough deaths to really drive the point home. I would have like to see what would have been done had some people only had access to say a lawn gnome or an air pump. To watch this film you not only have to suspend your disbelief, you're required to hang it.

Mark Wahlberg should be ashamed of himself. His acting was better in "The Big Hit." He plays a science teacher who has more issues with decision-making than Charlie Brown. He spends half the film whining about his terrible relationship with his wife, played by Zooey Deschanel, and the other half of the film running like a girl and chastising children in the most genteel manner possible. Of particular note is a scene in which he begs a plastic potted houseplant not to kill him and the people he's with. I imagine he going

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