by Samantha Giving

Created on: July 03, 2008

How do we teach children stranger safety without terrifying them? Stop right there! The most important concept to instill into children is that it isn't strangers that we must be wary of; rather it is anyone who makes us feel uncomfortable. When you read the newspaper or listen to the daily news, it's often the people that we let into our homes, or who we live beside that cause us the most harm.

So, how do we deliver this message to our children? We teach them about "gut instinct". We all have it, and think about it, how often is your gut instinct wrong? Very seldom usually; unless you are overly paranoid. How often do we think back and say "I wish I'd gone with my gut on that one"? Teaching children to use their gut instinct begins with listening to them and taking what they say seriously. You also have to listen to their body language. Here's a scenario:

You have your 1 year old baby girl Lila with you at a family reunion. She's having a great time; she's socializing with cousins she's never met before and playing with Granddad. Your uncle Fred, whom you haven't seen in 7 years comes over and gives you a hug. You are anxious to for Lila to meet Uncle Fred, as he's one of your favorite uncles. Lila starts to scream when you place her on his lap.

In this instance, Lila is trying to tell you something about her gut instinct towards Uncle Fred. It doesn't mean that Uncle Fred is going to harm her, but it does mean that Lila's natural instincts have been roused and she is asking you to remove her from the situation. You should. You should always react when a child tells you that they are not comfortable; this is how you are going to build their gut instincts and they will be confident to come and tell you when they are uncomfortable, as they know that you will listen. This is how we teach safety without terrifying them.

In today's society we have been trained to ignore our gut instinct for fear of "what others will think". Or, we feel that because no one else is panicking about the situation at hand, that we shouldn't be either. We need to lose this way of thinking and remember that our gut feelings are our primal protective instincts and are there to protect us.

I suggest teaching other safety strategies to our children in an informal way; through general conversations as teaching situations arise, rather than with "the talk". For example, you are walking down the street with your 7 year old son Tyler and a young couple pulls up beside you in a car and asks you for

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