by Lauren Beyenhof

Created on: July 03, 2008

It starts with a crackle, or maybe a wheeze;
it's all just a part of this nasty disease.
I spent my night upright just to breathe in and out;
For me that's what life with CF is about.

Cystic fibrosis, the monster within
steals time and steals breath again and again.
My level best efforts to keep it at bay
requires dozens of pills and inhalers each day.

I budget my time so I'm not always tired

but some days CF leaves me quite uninspired.
I do what I can to be as normal as you,
I work when I can and write a bit too.

Try as I might, I can't put on weight
don't tell me you're envious, that's something I hate.
I eat like a horse, or some other large beast
a meal made for 2 looks more like a feast!

I've made online friends who share my same fate
they're almost like family and that sure is great!
Daily I check their blogs and their rants,
their triumphs, their failures, they're "I wills" and "I can'ts."

The best part of my life is a man I adore,
we've had five years together and I want 50 more.
He loves and supports me each day without fail,
Having found him is like having found the Holy Grail.

We savor the moments when the monster's asleep
we tiptoe around it, making nary a peep.
But once in a while (too often it seems)
The reality of CF changes our dreams.

Each day is a blessing, in spite of CF
I treasure the seasons I know I have left.
I never expected that I would grow old,
but the life-span's increasing is what we've been told.

With hope for the future and faith as our light,
we hold onto Jesus and fear not the night.
When God says it's time, I'll go willingly;
my life with CF will finally cease to be.

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