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Humor: Bathrooms

by Anne Brown

Created on: July 02, 2008

First off, you must understand that my daughter is a germ-a-phobic. The girl is almost compulsive about touching things that might be dirty or contain someone else's germs. If the need to use the toilet arises while in a public place, she always makes sure she uses a paper towel to open the bathroom door, after washing her hands. "You never know if the person before you washed their hands," is her theory. This girl isn't a child, but an adult woman.



A few years ago, we traveled to the North Carolina Mountains for a family reunion. Both of our married daughters, their families and our two sons went with us. During this get together, the hosting family wanted to show us a beautiful park, where the children could swim and we could all hike some trails. They were right about the beauty and we were having a wonderful time enjoying the swimming. The water was like ice, but who cared. Finally, we decided to take the trail up the mountain and dry off a little. We were about halfway through the hike when germ-a-phobic daughter mentioned she needed to use the bathroom. Truth be told, all of us ladies had reached that point, and were please to see a nice, wooden structure with two doors. One labeled, "Women" and the other "Men". My oldest daughter went first, because she, "Just couldn't wait" and I was next. Finally, it was germ girls turn.

Once she entered, we heard her shout, "No Way!"
The outside of the building was very attractive and modern looking, but inside it was just an out house. The toilet had a wooden seat and a very deep hole going straight down. You know the kind I mean. But then, what can you expect in the middle of a forest?

"I can't do this," we heard. "This is gross!"

"Let's go then," I told her.

"No, I can't leave. I have to use the bathroom."

I could tell she was almost in tears. While we were waiting, daughter number one had a brain storm. She was the oldest of our four and her younger female sibling had always sworn she stayed away nights, looking for ways to torture her. Maybe she was right, because suddenly she grabbed the camera, opened the door and snapped a picture, catching her sister, with a large wad of toilet paper over her nose, and her drearier suspended in midair over the toilet. There was no way she was going to let her bottom touch that wooden seat or allow that smell to enter her nostrils. As soon as germ girl was able she was out of there, with murder in her eyes and swore her sis had better watch her back. To this day, I crack up laughing every time I think of that scene.

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