Search Helium

Home > Creative Writing > Humor

Humor: Funny stories from the doctor's office

by Kathleen Weisgerber

Created on: July 02, 2008   Last Updated: July 03, 2008

The Waiting Room

"Justin! Get down. Do you want to break the nice doctor's table?" Kate watched with little interest, from her black vinyl seat across the room, as a young mother, red faced and hair a mess, reached for her son.

"No, mommy! I want to jump down," screamed Justin.

"No you don't, darling. You might get hurt." Kate could hear the clenched jaw restraint in the mother's voice.

"Please don't let your child climb on the table. It's not safe," the receptionist droned nasally from behind a plastic, purple geranium.

Beep, beep, beep. Kate glanced at her wrist watch as it marked the hour and sighed heavily. No wonder her butt was almost numb. She had been sitting for 45 minutes. Almost one whole hour of her life wasted in a room where 8x10 glossies of wrinkles and acne passed as fine art.

Kate shifted uncomfortably in her seat and tried to adjust the skirt that was mercilessly squeezing her legs. Oh, how she wished she had had time to run home and change. It seemed there was always a last minute problem at the bank that only she was able to handle. Not that she actually was the only one able to handle a crisis, but, unfortunately, being the head of the loan department meant the buck stopped at her door. Kate returned her attention to the magazine in her lap. She never had much interest in hot rods, but from the selection of teen fare offered, it seemed the most promising. After all, she could hardly expect "The New Yorker" in a skin doctor's office.

A cell phone beeped a version of Yankee Doodle that would have George M. Cohan spinning in his grave.

"HEEEEYYYY Christine! Where've ya been, honey?" screeched a gum chewing, navel pierced teen. Kate rolled her eyes as the girl conversed, completely oblivious to her surroundings.

Giving up on the hot rods, Kate strolled back to the magazine rack, if for no other
reason, to get the blood flowing back in her bottom half. While she stood in front of the hopeless selection, another would be patient entered the room. Kate groaned as she watched the headphone wearing young man plop himself into the seat next to hers. She grabbed a TV Guide and returned to her seat.

No sooner had she found a semi-interesting article about an upcoming Beatles anniversary in America special when ...

"Oh, Charles." (kiss...kiss) "There's never been anybody else." (kiss...kiss)
"Oh, Victoria." (kiss...kiss) "I was hoping you felt that way." (kiss...kiss)

Kate looked up to see that Ms. Yankee Doodle was no longer on the phone, but deeply

136151

Featured Partner

MENTOR - National Mentoring Partnership

MENTOR has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to write for a cause. Browse MENTOR's featured titles, pick an issue and write! You can also donate your article earnings. Share what you know, learn new perspectives...more


CONNECT WITH US

Read
our blog
Helum for writers

Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills

Join our active writing community
Helium Content Source for Publishers

Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all

Get custom content today!

INFORMATION


Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA
#