by Corey Russell

Created on: January 02, 2007   Last Updated: April 18, 2007

There comes a time in some of our lives where it seems there is no point in getting out of bed on a day to day basis. Soon there is no need to take the garbage out, or to feed yourself. Maybe it's just a rut you've fallen into lately. Maybe you'll pull out of it. But, we must examine the other alternative. Maybe you won't. Maybe the day to day will turn into month to month. If you've ever felt like this, maybe it's time to see a doctor about it.

I have been struggling with depression ever since I can remember. But only recently have I started taking medication for it. It started with frustration, and then the sadness came. There were times where I wouldn't leave my bed for days except to go to the bathroom and occasionally eat.

It came to the point where I failed my 1st year of college because when I woke up in the morning there seemed no point to go to class. At first the idea of college excited me. When I started college I had just started on an anti-depressant, and it truly was working. And then I stopped enjoying life. The partying lifestyle no longer drew me in. Instead I would sit in my room alone. I stopped going to the gym. Even sexual activity wasn't appealing anymore. And even today as I write this article I experience the pain.

Of course depression may not be the only cause for these feelings. A change in lifestyle or even diet could make someone feel this way. But these changes are only temporary and sometimes they disappear. But if the feelings are persistent, it's not unreasonable that they could lead to depression.

My change was having my parents divorce when I was 5. Old enough to know what was going on but too young to understand why. From there I started getting into fights and being absurdly rude to others, when I was by nature a well rounded person. Years passed by and that stage in my life had passed. At the age of 10 I became shy, I sheltered myself from the world until I reached high school. It wasn't until I reached age 13 that I started to feel as though being violent or scared wasn't enough to hide the pain. I attempted suicide for the first time.

To date I've tried almost 3 times. The last time I had purchased sleeping pills and intended on taking them all. Of course now I know that store bought sleeping pills are suicide proof, but when my brother first found them and brought it to my moms attention I started to confront the pain. I saw a Psychologist until I left for college, and the rest you already know.

If you or anyone you know have been acting this way, it's time to organize those thoughts. Come to a decision about how you feel about yourself. Do you feel that it's interrupting your daily life? Have you been experiencing it for awhile? If the answer is anything other then no then I urge you to at least meet with your doctor to discuss the possibility of having depression. Because no online database can diagnose you.

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