by Avon Esor

Created on: July 02, 2008

After countless hours on the phone with banks, insurance companies and the cable company, I have come to realize and agree with one thing, "Stay calm and most of the time you will get what you want".

My last flirt with the dark side of demanding that someone should do something about my situation happened a few weeks ago and some very valuable lessons were learned. Here is how it all unfolded.

It was a long day and coming home from work, I decided to stop at the grocery store. I was most unpleasantly surprised when the cashier told me that my debit card was unapproved. "Impossible!" I shrieked. I had just checked my bank statement online before leaving work and this was the last news I was expecting. "Please try it again", I pleaded. After two more unsuccessful attempts and many angry people in the line behind me, I conceded. The bank had robbed me. It was a fast drive home.

I walked into the house and before putting away my stuff, I had the phone to my ears screaming at the automated voice on the bank's phone. After a few frustrating tries, I pressed 0 and got the customer service representative who welcomed me nicely to the service and politely thanked me for calling. I lashed out, letting him know how angry the situation had made me, barely being able to give him my account number since I had already told the automated woman and was in no mood to repeat myself. We got through half of the conversation with me ending up in tears and the poor representative still having no idea what was making me so mad and why I was now demanding to speak with his supervisor.

Finally, after listening for long enough, my husband walked over, rubbed my shoulders and coaxed the phone from my hand. "Sorry Sir," I heard him say, steam started coming from my ears. "Yes, my wife is having a little issue". "Little!" I screamed. "Little issue!". He turned his back and continued in a nice soft tone. "Oh, okay, so you will take care of that". "Well, thank you and have a good night", he cooed into the phone. I was crying, partly from anger and partly from shame but mostly because I was thankful for his kind nature.

My husband has a unique gift, he is the type of person who will get refunds from store clerks even when they should not be giving them, free stuff from smiling cashiers and smiles from everyone around him. The truth is that he simply asks nicely and politely. He repeats the names of the customer service person and reads name badges so he can address people on a personal level. He usually gets his way and can calm down the most irate of the lot. He does this by actually smiling while talking on the phone so it comes out in his voice.

There is a way to have people do things for you and I have learned that you must ask politely, remember names, thank people and give them the proper praise, because you never know who you will meet again and first impressions last. Even if it is someone's job to help you, it is good practice and good manners to treat them with respect. Doing this will almost always guarantee that you will have their kindness and support and in most cases they will do what you want them to do for you.

Learn more about this author, Avon Esor.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.