by Jessica Collins

Created on: July 02, 2008

Although I am not the most social person, I enjoy meeting new people and exchanging ideas with a fresh face as much as the next person. However, I do not believe that striking up a conversation with a stranger a few times a week would be enjoyable for me, and could be potentially unsafe. The definition of a stranger, according to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, is "a person or thing that is unknown or with whom one is unacquainted". I think it is important to consider this definition when considering talking to strangers, especially the last phrase "with whom one is unacquainted".

I consider a stranger to be the guy filling his gas tank two pumps over who you have never seen before in your life, or the woman who is sitting three rows down from you at a baseball game who could be from another country for all you know. These are people that you have never been in a social situation with, period, and I am not a strong advocate of walking up to one of them at random and saying, "Hi! My name is so-and-so. How about that local sports team?" Not that there will never be an occasion where speaking to a stranger is necessary, as when your car battery has died in the middle of nowhere and you need a jump start from the only vehicle within a hundred miles, but hopefully this will not happen on a daily basis. I believe a random stranger on the street has a low probability of responding well to the social advances of another stranger, and the chances of finding common ground are low as well. An acquaintance, though, could provide a welcome opportunity for safely and successfully expanding your social circle.

An acquaintance is defined by the same source as "a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly close friend". I think of acquaintances as the guy you meet at a party thrown by a mutual friend, or the woman who sits in the office next to you. Maybe you do not know them directly, but you are aware of each other's existence from crossing paths on more than one occasion. These are the people I believe we should talk to as a part of everyday life. Yes, there is still the possibility that they will turn out to be the next person being chased down on COPS, but there is also the possibility that you will find you have more in common than both knowing Ricky the party animal. And you have a better chance of being able to avoid the latter if you have observed a person in a safe, social situation at least once before.

As important as it is to be willing to take it upon yourself to begin a conversation, be alert for opportunities when an acquaintance might make the first move and start talking to you. I think people can get so distracted today through multitasking that they do not give their full attention to the conversations they have and often miss opportunities to take a conversation with an acquaintance to the next level. Do not be so quick to brush off a comment about how nice the photograph of your kids is on your desk or how outrageous the price of milk is these days. This could be your chance to make a comment in return, and a friendship is born!

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