Power-Walk with a Friend

The best "anger" walk I've ever taken was with a friend a few years back. I was totally frustrated with three teenagers, all of whom were "the most important and only person in the whole world," and my husband was a total non-help.

My before-and-after commendable husband simply refused to deal with the kids during the hard years. Even worse, this same husband developed a habit of bringing his 75+-plus-year-old father home to "visit." Then he left...not just to work, but to visit his own friends or even his sisters who shared the same father they weren't visiting with either.

That poor old man wanted his son, not a daughter-in-law of whom he was only semi-fond or three teenagers whose moods varied from minute to minute. Like his son, I worked full-time and the kids had part-time jobs after school and full-time in the summer. "Dad" spent too many hours totally alone to start with. Then, when the kids came home, they had problems they and I normally worked out or at least battled through. But my father-in-law wanted immediate attention always. Not only was he childlike by this time, but even when young, he was of an age where he demanded the "immediate" concern from his own wife and his own children at any time he graced their presence. He'd also always demanded total obedience - one reason his own kids didn't spend as much time with him as they should have when he was old. I had three teenagers to deal with and very little help. Plus this. Talk about anger? Oh, yeah!

My best friend was desperately angry, too, from different problems. Ten years younger than me, she was a stressful marriage, plus she was going through real career stress. On top of that, her eight-year old had been extremely ill the year before. Now well, she still demanded continuous pampering. (Yeah, much like my father-in-law and all three of my teenagers.)

One evening after work I don't remember which of us called the other in total despair and frustration. One of us (probably me) said, "Want to abandon everyone you currently live with and just take a walk?"

We did. We clocked about ten miles that evening, and set record time doing it. Like good friends always do, we complained and commiserated the entire way. I honestly can't believe the stamina we both had. Both of us walk, but we hardly do marathons. We did that night - and both of us went home feeling better able to cope with what we could not change...and to demand change when we could.

After a year or two of team walking, conflicting schedules intervened. I don't think she's doing as much of it these days, but I still strike out and walk when I am totally, desperately angry. And even if she isn't with me, I talk to my unseen friend in my head.

For anger or just too much stress, walking can't be bettered! Alone if you must, but take a well trusted fried if your schedules mesh!

Learn more about this author, Margaret Shauers.
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