by Elle Morena

Created on: July 01, 2008

We all have so many things to do and these things never get done. So we ask for help. These "things" to be done comes in categories. Urgent and important things and repetitive or one off menial things. We also have a variety of people we could ask, from friends, family, colleagues to acquaintances and strangers. As such how we persuade people depends on the nature of the help that we want and they type of people available for us to ask.

It is human nature to assist anyone in distress - emergencies, fall into this category. As such for urgent and important things, just ask and explain your situation. The persuasion factor here is to explain why you need their help. You have to explain the urgency and the consequences. Now, not all situations fall into this category, death, giving birth, sickness, theft, could qualify. Most of the time, people will assist you. Especially strangers, as they do not you, they will generally give you the benefit that your story is true.

As for people who know you, like family, friends and colleagues, it depends on your history with them. If you are trustworthy, and they believe you genuinely need help during emergencies they will assist. But if you had a bad history of lying, its better to approach strangers.

I find that its harder to get help for repetitive menial task, which are not urgent or important, where you could do these stuff yourself like, collect your laundry, walk your dog, pay your bills, baby sit, or to just get you a drink. Most of the time people you ask, will retort with, "do it yourself". And because you could do these things yourself, but is just too lazy, then you would have to pay someone to do it for you. Strangers will never do these things for you.

It these task are just a one off need, like passing the salt, then ask politely, use the magic words of "please" and "thank you", and admit that you are just too busy or lazy. Grovel if necessary! Persistent asking is also effective. This type of persuasion will only get you one off help.

From experience, I find that for menial task, you would have to do these things first, for people to reciprocate. For example, if you don't mind baby sitting for your neighbour and if you have done if a few times, it will be much easier to ask your neighbour to do the same. The same goes for situations at work. If you have assisted your colleagues, you will find that they will in turn assist you. All you have to do is ask. People are more willing to help, if they know that in future, they could call on your help and you will give it. So, you have to help others first, especially people you know, before asking for the same.

All these are examples of human behaviour based on the general population of strangers, colleagues, friends and family. There will be exceptions. There will be selfish people and people who could not help for genuine reasons. But what ever it is, learning the art of persuasion is important, however what makes it effective is the sincerity of requiring help.

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