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Let's Put Grandma in the Gas Tank

Citizens are frustrated, tempers on the boil
What everyone's mad at
Is the high price of oil.
Oil helps our peregrinations
And gets us to our destinations
Whether by car ship or plane
The cost of doing so is such an awful pain

The stuff of dreams and the cause of wars
Oil is a product of rotting dinosaurs
Not only dinosaurs but other animals too

All those different denizens
We see in the streets and the zoo
Not only all the animals, but us citizens too

Here's an idea, who's time has come
To add to the oil supply quite some
All our human bodies, if we wait long enough
Could make barrels and barrels
Of the oily stuff
So let us put grandma in the gas tank
And drive to the store

Oh do let us put grandma in the gas tank
And drive to the bank
We could use grandpa too,
And drive to the zoo
The price of oil is such a bummer,
We could put grandma in the Hummer
And drive around all summer.
If the price of oil is out of whack,
We could put both grandma and grandpa
In the Cadillac

Not only grandma and grandpa
But also Uncle Jack
Uncle Dick and Auntie Flo
Cousin Jim and Cousin Joe
Uncle Tom Cobbledy and all
Why, with all those bodies
We could have a ball

Oh do let's put grandma in the gas tank
We'd stick it to the sheiks
Nevermore to hear
All those drivers' shrieks
We could go on driving
All those summer weeks

All those drivers' shrieks
Causing such a fuss
Just because we'd rather drive
Than try to ride a bus
Or ride a bike
Its way too hot or cold
To even take a hike

Imagine that
We're all so fat
Our bodies and our belly
Quivering just like jelly
Pretty soon we leave this mortal coil
It's not too long
Ere our bodies turn to oil
Our bodies turn to oil my friends
That's how we make amends
Our creator to thank
By putting ourselves and grandma
In the petrol tank

Learn more about this author, Raymond Gork.
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