by Velma aka Shammah

Created on: June 30, 2008

Where would you like to begin, and how much time can you set aside to read or even respond to this article? Marriages fail for as many reasons as there are differences in personalities, it's that plain and simple. I, however, believe that the main ingredient for failed marriages is that of LACK OF COMMITMENT!

Years ago, even before the divorce laws changed here in Canada, I said that society should make it as difficult, perhaps even more difficult, to get married as it was to get a divorce. Before the changes to our Canadian law, one could only obtain a divorce based upon the grounds of adultery and even at that you had to have damn solid proof; almost had to catch the culprit on video and demonstrate to the court!

Being a woman of faith, a woman who seeks to live as the Creator intended and as set out in His "Guide to Living," a book we call the "Bible," I searched for years and have yet to find anything in my guide book that defines today's laws for a marriage between two people. My conclusion is that society has put in place yet another law, a man made law, that dictates the relationship between a man and a woman who have made the decision that they wish to live as man and wife (yes marriage is definitely defined as a union between a man and woman, I stand by that principle!), a law meant to fill the coffers of the ruling government. For, you see, in order for me to marry you, I must pay the government some money for that privilege, and yet my handbook for living doesn't speak of that "un"civil ceremony at all. It simply says a man leaves his parents and takes up with his chosen one and the, "two become as one."

Marriage is the joining of two souls, two spirits such that they become as one. Marriage takes communication, for you see in order for me to know your desires, your dreams, your likes and, yes even your dislikes, I must communicate with you about these things. We must agree to disagree and move on. If, as we are told, the two become as one, are we in fact "divorcing ourselves?"

Marriage is a commitment. Is that where we have gone wrong? Are we a society so full of self and our own desires that we are unwilling or afraid to make a commitment. When I commit to something the intent is that I shall follow through until that which I've committed to has been accomplished. Do we look at marriage like that; I don't think so, because if we did there would be no divorce because a commitment to marriage never ends for marriage, like life, is a journey, and we all

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