Where Knowledge Rules

Home:

Creative Writing

Get a Widget for this title

Satire: All about the 4th of July

theme park and casino based on Washington's actual home in Mount Vernon, Virginia. The main casino building and hotel, of course, is the big mansion and the smaller buildings, which are replicas of Washington's slave quarters, will serve as rooms for people who only play at the cheap slots."

"You're going to build a Southern slave plantation in Tanzania?" I choked.

"I sure am," Willard said proudly. "We are even going to plant some cotton and hire people to dress up like slaves and sing Spirituals while they pick it."

"But Tanzania is a Black African nation," I protested. "This is NOT going to go over well there."

"Are you sure?" Willard asked. "I thought it was part of what used to be the Soviet Union."

"No," I said. "You are confusing it with your other new casino in Kazakhstan."

"You're right," said Willard. "I guess I will have to switch names. The Kazakhstan casino will be called 'George Washington' and the Tanzania casino will be called 'Abraham Lincoln'. That should go over well. After all, Lincoln freed the slaves. We'll just announce that the mansion was Abraham Lincoln's birthplace in Illinois."

"That's not very accurate," I said. "Lincoln was born in a tiny log cabin."

"Imagine that!" said Willard in awe. "Lincoln's birthplace started as a tiny log cabin and worked its way up to become a giant mansion. It's success stories like that which make me really love America!"

Learn more about this author, Josh Wilde.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Satire: All about the 4th of July

  • 1 of 6

    by Josh Wilde

    The Stars and Stripes was waving and the CD blasted out "The Star Spangled Banner" as I entered the office of Willard T.

    read more

  • 2 of 6

    by Hockeydino

    I spend quite a bit of time throughout the year bashing policies, bashing politicians, bashing the apathy that has swept

    read more

  • 3 of 6

    by Leah Sellers



    My Grandpa Avery was a soft spoken man. He stood 6-feet-2 with eyes so blue. He believed in honor and duty, too, and

    read more

  • 4 of 6

    by Michael Nicks

    All About the 4th of July

    The 4th of July is always a day, I like to head on into this capital town here in

    read more

  • 5 of 6

    by Michael Poyner

    Hamburgers, hotdogs, marching bands in parades, people lining the streets with sparklers in hand are just a few ways that

    read more

View All Articles on:
Satire: All about the 4th of July

Add your voice

Know something about Satire: All about the 4th of July?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

171854

Featured Partner

One Note At A Time (ONAAT)

One Note At A Time has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to write for a cause. Browse One Note At A T...more

What is Helium? | Buy Web Content | Contact Us | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA | User Tools | Help | Community | Helium’s Official Blog | Link to Helium

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA