1 of 6

Write now Article Tools

The Stars and Stripes was waving and the CD blasted out "The Star Spangled Banner" as I entered the office of Willard T. Patriot, owner of the Patriot Casino Corporation, a collection of All-American casinos located in Slovakia, Costa Rica, Honduras, and Macedonia.

"I am so glad that you could come," Willard greeted me. "I wanted you to be the first reporter to learn about our two newest casinos - The George Washington Casino in Tanzania and The Abraham Lincoln Casino in Kazakhstan."

"Don't you ever plan to open any of your All-American casinos in the United States?" I asked.

"Of course," said Willard. "After all, I am as loyal an American as you will find. Remember, I am a war veteran!"

"Which war did you fight in?"

"The same one that Presidents Bush and Clinton did," said Willard. "But I don't like to brag about my military record. I just mentioned it to point out how patriotic I am. I realize the importance of keeping jobs and businesses here in the US - in fact, next year I am even planning on considering the possibility of perhaps buying an American-made car. Maybe."

"Then why are all your casinos overseas?" I asked him.

"This allows me to keep up one of the most treasured of all American traditions," Willard replied, "avoiding taxes."

"When are your two new casinos going to be opened?" I asked.

"When else? On Independence Day, of course - I think that this year it falls on July 4th."

"Do people ever object to you naming gambling casinos after American heros?" I asked Willard.

"No. Why should they? Many things are named after great Americans. There is the Kennedy Space Center, the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts, Mount McKinley and The Addams Family, just to name a few. Why, even the capital of our country is named for a president."

"That's true," I admitted. "Although I sometimes wonder what George Washington would think of Washington, D.C., being named in his honor with all the lying and cheating that goes on there."

"D.C.?, hmm...wait a second."

Willard picked up his phone and made a quick call to his Public Relations Office.

"Frank? Willard here. You know those brochures we had made up on the two new casinos? Yeah, well, we are going to have to make a change. Washington, D.C., is the nation's capital - not Lincoln, Nebraska."

Willard got up from his desk, walked to a cabinet, and took out some pictures.

"Let me show you what the new casinos look like," he said. "This is The George Washington Casino. We're very proud of it. It is a combination

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Satire: All about the 4th of July?
We want to hear your view. Write now!