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Humor: Night owls

by Renda Ashley

Created on: June 30, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Hello, my name is Annie and I'm a Night Owl."

"Hello Annie." The group said in unison.

Everyone says, admitting that you have a problem is the first step. Well, some one has got a problem. I will admit that. I decided to come out of the closet, and I thought "Night Owls Anonymous" would be a support system that I needed to face the chipper, perky Early Birds of the world. It was quite a feat to find the meeting. No one from Night Owls Anonymous answered the phone before 10:00 at night. And it was a bit tricky finding a place to meet after midnight. The group finally decided on an all night bowling alley called the "Bird Bowl". You would think I was a serial killer the way the world reacted when they found out my secret. It almost always starts with some annoyingly cheerful morning person calling me at around 8:00 .am.

"Oh, I'm sorry ...You weren't asleep were you?" the chirpy little voice asks.

"Oh! I...uh...Oh! I decided to sleep in today because ...uh"

It's about this time in the conversation that you hear a slight gasp. Or, my personal favorite...a hearty laugh. (And they aren't laughing with me.) Ms. Perky then goes into a litany that goes like this;

" I've been up since 4:00 a.m. Annie, you should try getting up early sometime. You should have seen the gorgeous sunrise."
(I don't tell Ms. Perky that I did see the sunrise, right before I crawled into bed.)

What these well meaning little perky birds of prey don't realize is that Night Owls are just as productive as Early Birds, just at a different time of day. I mean the whole infomercial business would cease to exist without Night Owls. I have been known to run a vacuum at 3;00 a.m. and do some major housework. (Even if it was to clean up the chips that I spilled while trying to order the "once in a lifetime offer" of bathroom hooks.)
Then there are Midnight matinees. Why have any of these if nobody is up? And what about stores such as Wal-Mart that are open 24 hours a day? Who would be their customers if not for the faithful Night Owl? Then there's the whole McDonald's, Taco Bell, Wendy's drive thru opened all night because of, who? The dedicated Night Owl.

But eventually the Ms. Perky's of the world made me feel like the odd person out. They made me feel ashamed, embarrassed even. Then I got "the idea of a lifetime." If I don't go to bed until most people are getting up, why not get a job where I can work during those hours. I got a job as an on-air personality announcing the news as most people were just crawling

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