by Keen Johns

Created on: June 29, 2008   Last Updated: June 30, 2008

Nowhere within the United Kingdom can match Scotland when it comes to the subjects of history, natural beauty and mystery. It's the land of worthy warriors, who have throughout recorded time proven that point.

The islands that reside within the boundary of Scotland are rife with remnants of Neolithic man and his way of life, a living history lesson for the few brave enough to make the excursion to these remote locations.

I should state here that I am not either directly or indeed indirectly related to Scotland, I am in fact an Englander, one of those which the Scots constantly humiliate with their favourite weapon, the rugby ball. My closest tie with Scotland is my very good friend Angus Cameron Carmichael. Angus is so Scottish that I really require an interpreter in order to realise a sustained and meaningful communication. Angus would have me believe that his whole family have indeed seen 'Nessie' on a friendly one on one basis, this stems from one of his forefathers having a somewhat intimate relationship with the elusive creature, somewhere back in history.

Being a land of much desolation and natural beauty, it is an ideal setting for the last remaining of the world's dinosaur population to dwell in serene comfort, that is until the Scottish Tourist Board got to find out about it.

Now desolate beauty should be allowed to enjoy its natural undisturbed state, the last thing that Scotland needs is hoards of sightseers tramping down the natural habitat leaving signs of molestation in their wake. Within this paragraph is the key to the remaining part of this submission.

I have a theory about the existence of Scotland's beloved 'Nessie' that will shock you dear reader, but I must ask that you do not reveal this to others for reasons that you will discover later in this article.

Loch Ness has no monster at all. Most all supposed photographic evidence of 'Nessie' has already been disproved by experts in the field of photography, and those that have not yet been exposed as fake will soon suffer the same fate, you can be sure of that, quite simply because you can only capture on camera what is there to be photographed.

I will illustrate the basis for my theory with a scenario.

Let's say that a rumour has started that a particularly evil spirit haunts your home, what is going to happen? For a start those flower beds which you have lovingly created, and cared for all those years are going to be crushed under the feet of camera laden persons eager to get that all important

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