The Dedication to my First Novel
When I heard I was pregnant my first reaction was to argue back
"No! I'm too young! You don't understand! I'm only 15."
The Doctor explained when your time comes, it comes.
So I took a deep breath and told my mother, "I was pregnant."
Now if you know my mother than you know she's one of a supporter when her children do what they want, so casually she said, "Well. Good luck. I'm here if you need me."
That was it? She just let me go and have this baby all by myself? No doubts, no fears, no concerns? This was all very new to me, much like having this baby.
My friends didn't think much about it, simply shrugged and "said good for youI'm sure you'll be fine too."
Only one friend was the foundation of support and forever she will be known as the god mother.
Sadly I kept my pregnancy a secret, especially when I met a boy I soon later married. It was hard to keep my baby a secret as I began to show, from the glow in my face, to expansion of my stomach. No longer was it that easy to keep it all in.
The boy, the boy swept me off my feet and thought it was kind of sweet I was having a baby, he promised to love me and it forever as both as shall live. He promised to take care of it, clothe it, and love it like he loved me, and like a dumb kid I believed him.
At the beginning it was true, he talked to the baby in my tummy, he kissed it, he stroked, it, he genuinely loved it, but before I know it he was yelling and causing, telling me I was stupid for wanting the kid and that I should just give it up already.
Terrified and heartbroken I told him I'd give it up, I couldn't loose him, I didn't wanna loose him, so I debated how many ways I could tell myself this was the right choice to make, but in the end it didn't matter about me giving up the baby, because my prince charming wanted a divorce.
Between the divorce and the birth coming later than I expected a lot of stress was on my head, a lot of stress was on baby, and a lot of doubt in my heart, but I knew secretly somehow what the doctor said was true, me and the baby will no part.
Fighting the divorce was horrible, signing my name on those papers brought tears to my eyes, but it didn't matter because was destined to die was going to die. Our marriage went to hell and he cursed my baby there too, so I told him he could take his new wife and make sure that he knows there's done when he's tired of just a screw.
Me and my baby sat around miserable when another man showed up. He swooped me off my feet and promised to be there letting no one defeatour love, like a chump I began to believe him until I realized he didn't care about kid, all he cared about was taking off the lidto my goodie jar.
And soon he got left behind, I never made the mistake of marrying him, I figured what's the point, I never wanted him to permanently be mine.
Didn't matter any more because everyone knew, and everyone was excited as I grew
Before I know it I began to have labor pains, cramps that made me cry bloody murder, feelings I once preferred sent me into a straight stutter
Tears streamed down my face as I held the hand of the newest replace, and yes I know the others had failed, but this one I was sure had to prevail, there's something about the way he told me he loved me and my unborn, and something about the way he kissed my forehead and whispered he loved my newborn
So here we are in the hospital bed, holding the baby close planting kisses on his head, looking down at my precious that I was so close to loosing, I smile widely at him knowing later he'd be my musing for something even greater than him, which has to be out of this world because he's more than great
Staring into his eyes, being his very young, in college mother, I told him in the most comforting voice like I had no other, "Before you let's face I swore I was destined to fail, but now that you are here I know I'm meant to prevail. You are my pride and joy Billy, never forget you are the hope that gave me my life back."