Sometimes moms can learn the biggest lesson in life. I have learned a lesson I never thought I would have learn. I have learned that I will never judge any one again. I have lived and learned, but it almost cost me my relationship with my daughter.

It started out on a weekend trip when my husband, son, daughter and I went to visit our oldest daughter at her school. She was in her 3rd year of college. We were all in the car, driving her back to campus.

There is something about a mother's instinct. It's a feeling of such overwhelming emotions that hits you all at once. That mother's instinct hit me that night. I had a sudden feeling that something was wrong. I turned and looked at my daughter, my woman child, in the back seat of the car. I asked her, "What's wrong? Tell me what is going on".

I'll never forget that day. The day when my daughter told us she was gay. I felt as if someone had just told me she died. There is no other way to explain it. I knew she was talking to me, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. All I could hear was a far away humming in my head. In the background I could hear my husband saying,"Oh my God", "Oh my God", over and over again.

One day she was my sweet, blond haired beauty, full of spirit and love. Now, sitting before me, was a stranger. All I could think of was, "What will she go through?", "Will I ever have grandkids?", "What will people say?". I was very angry. I was angry at her. I was angry at myself for not realizing sooner that she was going through this turmoil. I was angry at God.

I have to admit, I was also afraid. I was afraid of what my family would say. I was afraid of meeting her friends. I wanted nothing to do with it. Then I felt ashamed of myself. Was I embarressed of her? Ashamed? Disgusted? I had so many emotions going through my head. I couldn't think straight.

All in all, I think I handled it pretty good that day. I didn't show anger. I don't think I showed anything I was feeling. I hugged her and just asked her to be careful. I remember asking her if she was sure. "Please God, let her say she's not sure." "Just give me one sign that gives me hope." "How can you do this to me?" Yes, I felt as if I had been wronged. I felt betrayed.

The two hour drive home that night was in complete silence. I didn't know how to handle it. There is nothing that can prepare you for this. How do I talk to our other kids about it. "My God, could there be a chance they are gay, too!" "God, help me here!

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