by Brenda Obert

Created on: June 29, 2008

For my husband and I, as a newly married couple, continuing to "date" was not a problem. There were plenty of quiet evenings with just the two of us.We had some lovely dinners out, and some great adventures overseas while my husband was in the Air Force. However, after our first baby was born, we settled down and found it much more difficult to focus on each other and not the baby. About that time that we made a pact to work to spend some special time with each other each month. I know many couples work to do this on a weekly basis, but we were realists and knew that with children,family, job commitments, and a limited budget this would be next to impossible. We decided once a month would be doable. Our once a month tryst became very important to us, and we seldom missed it over the years.

Sometimes it was dinner at a favorite restaurant, or dinner at a new restaurant, or dinner and a movie. Sporting events were fun as well. One year we went to the Cotton Bowl game, Notre Dame versus The University of Texas. I wore orange and white, and my husband wore green. We watched and cheered at hockey games,played putt-putt golf, drove go-carts, enjoyed musicals, and went to museums and concerts. Sometimes, with a limited budget,all we could afford to do was eat a burger and fries and take a walk in the park. Other times, when we could afford it, we spent a whole weekend away. Through the years, these times became important to me and my husband.

Life get cluttered with our day to day lives, work, school, soccer games, gymnastic meets, family crisis and events. Focusing on each other in a sea of children, jobs, family commitments, and the other distractions of daily life, strengthened our relationship and cemented our marriage. We have so many great memories to share with our children and family, of holidays, and family projects, but we also have wonderful lifetime of memories that only we share.

So many married couples get caught up in the world and neglect their relationship. These couples often struggle with working to keep their marriages alive and intact, and if they do keep it together, they may find that when the children move out, they are living with a stranger. This doesn't happen when a couple takes time to keep the fun in their marriage throughout the marriage.

After over thirty years of marriage, one of the most gratifying moments came when our daughter who had recently delivered twins, confided that she and her husband were trying to plan a night out at least once a month "just like you and dad." The legacy of a strong loving marriage is passed to a new generation. How could we know that the importance of having a night out with your spouse could be so profound.

Learn more about this author, Brenda Obert.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.