by Elizabeth Fetkenhour

Created on: June 28, 2008   Last Updated: October 30, 2010

There is a link between money and happiness to a certain degree. Living in abject poverty without the means to purchase basin needs such as food and housing not only diminishes happiness it can literally kill via starvation or exposure. If a person does not have any money they will live in despair and oftentimes commit illegal acts (stealing) or immoral acts in order to assuage their hunger.

However, most of the people in the United States live in the middle or upper classes and we enjoy robust meals. The obesity percentages in the United States can attest to the prevalence of food. After the threshhold of mediocrity is overcome and annual salaries rise the happiness quotient does not rise proportionately. In other words, once our essential needs are met and we are left with our wants fulfilling all those wants will not necessarily lead to a greater happiness.

My most cherished memories and best moments are ones that are real and the cost is free. For example, Gracie, my four year old joyfully eating her birthday cake with such little grace. The total cost of a homemade cake is roughly eight dollars and the happiness of watching her little face was just priceless. It may sound trite, but maternal moments are what increase my joy and they are free of charge. Therefore, it is my contention that money does not create more happiness, but it is a basic need.

I have a very wealthy friend and she does not work at all. She has a nanny and a cleaning lady and even a part time cook. What a lucky rich girl to have not only all her basic needs met, but also have the means to fulfill most of her wants. We keep in touch and she is very funny and equally stressed out as any new mom would be and on a day to day basis there is less laughing and playfulness in her house then in mine. She marvels at my strength and I marvel at her luxuries.

To have such excess has not created happiness though it has undermined her capacity to raise her children without pretensions and condensension towards others. I am sorry to say but they are very spoiled and demanding and she is often brought to tears by their attitudes. I tell her to get a grip and send them to bed and it is this no nonsense approach that she lacks. The money has clouded her judgement I always say since it has removed the element of realism. Is there any child in this wonderful world that needs 100 toys to be picked up by their nanny? I truly disagree with this approach of excess. She called me the other day and said, "Your kids always pick up, but mine just won't do it. What is the secret?" I laughed and said, "I make them...because I am too damn tired, since I waxed the wood floors."

We have enough money and we are happy. Too little money would bring misery, worry, and deprivation to our lives. I also think that too much money can lead to spoiled excess and ruin the truly lovely times that you can have with your family. For example, our salary allows a vacation or two, but the kids are not expecting any extra toys or souveniers and to beg or whine is not condoned in our household. We gave you a glorious breakfast of organic foods, a lovely day at a splash park, and dinner at a fancy restaurant and that is enough. We are not rich, but we are very happy. The moderate spending and will hopefully teach our children about delayed gratification and thankfulness for what they have.

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