by Cindi Markham

Created on: June 28, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Have you ever felt betrayed?.....Have you ever felt that your heart had been ripped out of your chest and left barely beating on the cold ground? You want to bend over and pick it up again....yet not sure how to put it back inside your warm body. Knowing the longer you allow your heart to lay there, the colder you become.
You stand there stunned at what life just threw at you ....confused and bewildered? You have been wounded so deep and instead of bleeding....which would have been easier...bleed and get it over with...then you can heal....instead you slowly bruise, a deep dark purple......

I have felt this way, I have wondered will my heart ever heal? Can my heart recover from this feeling of betrayal, rejection, pain? Will I recover? How do I recover? The tears don't help....where tears before made my heart feel like I released the pain...these tears water the pain....it seemed to grow.

How do you recover from this kind of pain? Maybe some of you have felt this way before? A divorce, broken friendship, a death.....the knife may be still stuck in your back, and try as hard as you can.....you can't reach it to pull it out.

So as you go about your day....smiling on the outside...wearing the mask...acting like life is treating you fine...there is this long knife sticking out of your back. Every once in a while you wince from the pain...but you have grown used to the pain, and just maneuver around it. You even adjust your garments to make room for the knife stuck in your back.

I don't know about you....I have been there. I have experienced this kind of pain, rejection and yes, taking the knife with me shopping, to the beach, church, etc...thinking no one will notice. Well my friends....they do. They may not notice in ways that you think....but the knife has a way of revealing it's self.

How do you recover? How do you heal? How do you put your heart that is now stunned and cold and barely beating...back in your chest ...allowing warmth to surround it again?

My heart was a happy heart, going through life pretty much at ease believing that life is good. It always saw the bright side of things. I was voted in school as the most optimistic person in my class...and I was, especially in my later years in school. I had reason to believe that I was loved and I loved people...no not perfectly...but purely. My heart seemed to think on the bright side...I believed I was loved and I loved....I thought my heart was so healthy...but then comes the curve ball....look out.

One day I

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