by Ted Sherman

Created on: June 28, 2008

The greatest place to celebrate this 4th of July could be your own backyard, no matter what the preposition-befuddled "to travel to" implies. With the gasoline thieves pushing their guns into your ribs more painfully each day, why not give yourself a gasoline holiday by leaving the big fat, gas-guzzling SUV in the garage? In fact, your friendly neighborhood gas station owner may need a day off to sit back, gloat about robbing you blind, and count his loot.

You may decide to be brave and drive during this holiday, although you can hope there will be less traffic than usual. You'll still find highways clogged with other mindless drivers who just can't get out of the habit of creeping along at ten gridlocked miles per hour to get the family to the seashore, amusement park, mountains or Grandma's backyard barbecue. And what driver doesn't enjoy listening to lilting lyrics of his kids' "are we there yet" two or three dozen times ... per hour?

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm as patriotic as the next guy. In fact, I was born and raised in Philly, and consider Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell holy icons of my long-ago youth. In fact, along with my abiding love of country, as a young swabbie stationed at the nearby Navy Yard, those historic landmarks were great places to pick up less permanent kinds of love. However, today I'm just not so patriotic that I must drag my family through 95 degree heat just to say we've sweltered at landmarks in Philly, the Statue of Liberty in New York or Boston, Concord and Lexington. Or join the surrender ceremonies at Yorktown, Virgina. Did I forget to mention that even the shabbiest motel will slice $250 a night per dumpy room from your sweltering hide.

To get almost serious about the 4th of July, how about giving your stay-in-the-backyard celebration a patriotic theme. Whether an outdoors barbecue (if you live in Northern Alaska) or an air-conditioned indoor luncheon, use paperware decorated with the holiday's theme. Also, put lots of American flags everywhere. If you can get some with the 13 original stars old Betsy Ross designed, so much the better.

If there will be kids there, get paper Uncle Sam hats and other kinds of holiday-related costumes for them to wear. If your guests, including the kids, are into historical facts, put on a Jeopardy or Family Feud quiz, and offer prizes to the winners. If yours or visitor kids are extra talented, get them together earlier to prepare a skit about the signing of the Declaration of Independence or a parody scene showing General Washington kibbitzing while Betsy sews. And, if the talent extends to vocals, arrange for a patriotic sing-along. You don't need the fife and drum or the guy with the limp, but any musical instruments could enhance the performance.

Speaking of music, if your celebration goes past sundown, drag out your big screen TV or projector, and close the evening with a showing of a greatly underrated musical movie, "1776" for your family and guests to enjoy. Or if you prefer a more contemporary one about the American Revolution, show Mel Gibson's "The Patriot." If fireworks are legal in your area, you can top off the evening with a bang.

Whatever you plan for the 4th of July, do it with enjoyment and safety.

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