by Pamela Sigler Taylor

Created on: June 28, 2008

Buddies can be defined in a few ways. If you define buddy to mean that you are going to spend time with them after school or be their best friend at recess, then the word buddy is not for you as a teacher. If you define buddy as someone who is there for a child and someone who cares then I would say the word buddy is fine.

Teachers have to draw an invisible line. That line separates the closeness of a good friend and of someone who cares. Sometimes teachers cross the line and get themselves into trouble. It's not that you don't want to be close to the children. It is that you need to keep a professional distance. Let me give a couple of examples.

One year a teacher in the building where I teach became very close to a certain child and her family. It had been a hard year for the child. Mom and dad were divorcing and lots of stuff was going on. I had a sibling in my room that year. I knew about what was happening. I monitored the child's behavior and I would talk to them if need be. But, I never got too personal with mom. I never took the side of either parent in the situation. I stayed neutral. Long story short, later that year we were both called to court to testify. I was able to stick to the facts of the child's education and general appearance as far as personal care. I could give the data on number of days absent and tests scores but not much else. My co-teacher on the other hand did those things but was also asked about her conversations with the mother. You see, they had become close friends. She had a lot of the details of some of the private stuff in her head. I didn't. She was put on the spot on that stand. I on the other hand was able to state facts and avoid opinions.

Allow me another example. In my area there was once a man who lost his licensure. A young girl said in court that he had touched her bottom. He had. But, he had brushed it when she came to his desk to ask a question. She was standing right next to him at the wrong level. He accidentally brushed her and lost his entire career over it. A few years later the young lady admitted that she had lied. But, it was too late for the man who could no longer teach. His name was mud! He had tried to keep a professional distance but still was crucified by the child and her family.

Here is one final example. I had a child in my room this year that was seen eating food out of a dumpster one night near his home. As soon as I found out I was in contact with the family liaison at our school. I talked

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