by Anne Brown

Created on: June 27, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

How I coped with my parent's cancer

Dad died in 1995 of lung cancer. It still hurts and I miss him very much.

Mom and Dad smoked all of my life and I hated it. After we married, my husband and I spent many nights and week-end at my parent's home, playing cards and board games. We had a great deal of fun together, but it seemed where ever I sat, the smoke drifted toward me. I always joked that I would be the one to get cancer from breathing the air they polluted.

My father had been active and healthy all of his life. His only episode with illness was a short bout with angina, which he insisted wasn't his heart at all, but anxiety. It was many years later that he became ill. We all began to see he was slowing down and his once well kept yard was becoming neglected. He seemed so tired and lacked his normal energy. Then came the day he approached my mother telling her he had a lump near his collar bone. Mom insisted he see the doctor and by the time the appointment came due, less than a week later, the lump had grown from pea size to more like a ping pong ball. The doctor took one look at Dad and told him he had lung cancer. Thus began the long process of test, more doctors and finally radiation treatments. Since the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes, we were told there was no chance of survival. The radiation was to shrink the tumor and make Dad a little more comfortable.

My choice was to spend as much time with my parents as possible. Our four children were grown and even though we had a home office, Dad became the top priority in our lives. My husband was very understanding and loved my father like he was his own.

It was a hot day in August when Dad went for his first treatment and though he would never admit it, but he was frightened. He had said it wasn't necessary that anyone come, but I promised I would be there for him. When I reached his hospital room, he was gone and I was devastated. The nurse informed me that he had been taken by ambulance to the cancer treatment center down the street. I rushed to get there and made it just in time to see them wheel him through the door. Thankfully he saw me and knew Id kept my promise. He smiled and waved.
"I'll be here until you're done." I told him, choking on my tears.

At next his appointment with his oncologist Dad asked if the radiation was going to cure him. He knew it wasn't, but the hope was still there.
The doctor looked at him and said, "I'm sorry my friend. I wish I had a better answer, but the treatments

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>