by Christine Lorraine

Created on: June 27, 2008

Growing up in my parents' household was a feat in itself. It's amazing that any of us survived this tedious process, and that fact that all five of us sibs did is testimony that what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

Here is a sampling of what life was like "back in the day:"

Kids, don't try this at home - My little sisters decided to re-enact the "Wessonality" oil commercial of the 70s one boring afternoon. Perhaps you recall the ad where Florence Henderson shows a square piece of deep-fried bread, looking golden and crunchy on the outside, fluffy and white on the inside. These two little darlings decided that they wanted to eat a piece of bread like the one in the commercial (after they applied a thick layer of the peanut butter chosen by choosy mothers).

What they failed to comprehend was that deep fryers are dangerous. They let the oil heat up until it was hot enough to melt steel. Then they dropped in the piece of bread. Luckily only the curtains and walls suffered slight charring. Mom was suspicious at the time that "something happened" in the kitchen. I'm not sure if anyone ever informed her of the details of the incident.

Pajama Party Pranksters - How many pajamafied preteen girls does it take to get your little brother to wet the bed? At least six - two to hold the bowl of warm water, two to hold his fingers in the bowl of water, and two more to act as giggly guards on the lookout for intruders who might wonder what all the hubbub was in Junior's room at 3:47 a.m.

Let the record show that this prank never worked, at least not on either of my little brothers. Although come to think of it, I may have seen my youngest brother smiling while his hand was under water. The only prank that really worked well at any of my slumber parties was a mean trick my so-called friends played on yours truly. I guess it was my punishment for falling asleep before they did.

Somebody conceived the great idea of applying a thick line of toothpaste across each of my closed eyelids. I began dreaming that a crazed pyromaniac was practicing on my face by setting my eyes on fire.
I awoke to deafening laughter as my assailants realized the fruit of their labor.

The main thing wrong with this prank is that they used a little too much toothpaste and years later there were serious problems when my eyelids tried to grow back. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. To this day, my eyes sparkle and smell clean and minty.

Miscellaneous Bathroom Mishaps:

A younger brother snacked

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