by Dangers Mom

Created on: June 27, 2008

A Mothers Ramblings...

Days and nights, nights and dreams, I walk around wondering who you are and what you are like and what you will think of me. I pray and I sway with my belly out first a billboard, a sign, that I show the world. At first I worry and then I hope and I wait for a child I can't wait to know. I am scared, I won't lie, and I wonder deep inside if I can give you what you need. Be true to your soul, water your needs, and give you the things that will lead you to leave.me. As I sit at home alone in my bath with my eyes closed ignoring the swelling in my feet, I think about you as you move inside of me.

I know that you love to swing to the beat and rumble to the drum as I tease you with the lyrical juice from my favorite tunes. You like the night, and love saltine crackers and ice cream. When I walk; you sleep, and when I push, you kick back at me. I'm not perfect and neither is your dad but I hope we gave you the best that we had. Please steal his eyes and his caramel skin, my lips and not my chin. I hope that you are everything that I ever wanted to be; independent, bright, and I hope that your hair is curly. I hope that you make the world better, I hope you change someone's mind, I hope that when history looks back at you they see the wakes that you left behind. I want you to feel like you can accomplish anything, I want to support you in your dreams; I want you to be the best thing about me.

I won't lie about the world; I won't tell you that there won't be pain. I'll try to protect you from the rainy days. I won't lie about love, or the way that it stains, tinting your life forever causing your heart change. I hope you hold on, grow strong, and keep your innocence separate from your past. Oh and laugh, I hope that you laugh.

I hope I never make you cry, I hope you always love me, I hope that you will be proud to be my legacy. I hope you live long and that I get to see you grow up, find yourself and get married. I hope that I never bury you and that many years will pass before you bury me. But time is tricky and life unplanned so I write these words with a shaken hand promising to enjoy the little things every moment every day and not let the world get in the way. I want to say, before it's too late that you were the most amazing little lovely thing that I have ever seen before you even ever came to be.
I hope you always love me.
I fear that I take you for granted now; I pray I won't waste a day,

The water is getting cold, so I curl up with you in bed, visions of the future rocking me to sleep. I see the future and I know that you are changing me.

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