by A. L. Sugden

Created on: June 26, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

With today's media, it can be hard to see value in virginity anymore. Virgins are called losers, prudes, nerds, and other unmentionable titles. According to movies, TV shows, and teen websites, the cool people are sexually active, and aren't ashamed. But what if, in all their fun, they've missed the point? What if virginity has greater rewards than premarital sex? What if virgins have a reason to be proud? Let me tell you a secret: we do.

Dating has become synonymous with sleeping together. Why? Because according to the cool people, "sexual compatibility" must be tested before marriage. And people are absorbing that message. When The 40 Year Old Virgin was released in 2005, Gallup surveyed teenagers with the question: "What age is one responsible enough to be sexually active." Of the teens surveyed, 31% answered "17 and younger," 31% answered "age 18," and 16% answered "21 or older". What about the option "after marriage"?

A new poll should be taken on the length and happiness of relationships that include premarital sex. If I told you the stories of my friends who are not virgins, you could probably say you've seen the same things happen to your friendsor to yourself. Girl likes guy, guy likes girl, they start dating, they touch and feel and get intimate, they break up in tears and flames. Right?

Yes, there are the "cool people" who claim they don't get attached. Sex is just what they do. And if you don't have sex, you're not cool. What they won't tell you is that it's all an act. The louder they talk, the deeper they hurt. If the cool people were honest with you and themselves, every one of them would admit something's missing. It's fun, but it's also a black hole that is never satisfied.

Therein lies the value of virginity. There is something almost mystical about sex that can only be experienced by virgin married people. And yes, marriage makes a difference. I waited until marriage, so I cannot speak about premarital sex. But I have friends who can, and they all say that there's something unexplainably different about the marriage bed. I can speak to the deeply bonding nature of virginal sex, and to the fun I've had working at my "sexual compatibility."

As a preteen I decided to be a virgin when I married. Yes, I did it at a True Love Waits event, but there was more to it than that. Here's where the cool people rant and call me religious fanatic and prude and all those other hasty names. Give me a chance to prove that you can make this decision on more than

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