by Emily Joy White

Created on: June 26, 2008

My five children are all grown now. I taught them how to read, cook, sew, change a tire, lay brick, care for pets, and many other life skills. I didn't know that I should teach them to be happy. Maybe dumb luck allowed me to model a certain level of happiness, but I did not teach them with purpose about happiness. I wish I had.

The quest for fulfillment and happiness often begins after childhood, more like around early middle age, especially for women. Still, I feel that parents could emphasize that happiness is an individual choice and should do so even for young children. Happiness starts with graditude. Thankfulness fills the mind, then the heart with warmness that evokes satisfying feelings. In the book Simple Abundance, by Sarah Ban Breathnach, we are taught to end each day by making a list of 5 things for which we are grateful. A child could be guided to do this verbally, like a prayer at bedtime. With a simple review of the good things of the day, and a kiss good night what child wouldn't sleep well and wake up happy?

Children need to learn about good nutrition and how good food and exercise make the incredible human body work well. Children aren't born preferring Oreos and chips, they actually prefer nutritious food. As adults, we let our bad habits or busy schedules allow us to drift into choosing foods for speed or taste sensation that offer little food value. Our kids learn these habits quickly. Take time for good food, for selection and preparation and the children will learn to enjoy healthy choices. Let them observe good habits regarding exercise as well.

Protect the calendar and the clock. Don't try to cram too much into the daily lives of your children. Maybe soccer, piano lessons, homework, chuch activities or other clubs are simply too much. Many moms are racing around carting kids from one activity to another (which often involves junk food)and the serenity of home life becomes a forgotten pleasure. Allow for home time that is quite and inviting. Children need time to think and create, as do the adults in their lives.

Keep the home organized from kitchen to bathroom to living and bedrooms. Order helps reduce stress and is fundamental for creativity to flow. Order also promotes feelings of security and even pride. Children should be proud of their environment for this is a feeling they will take into their adulthood and later into the community and the world.

Fill your children's lives with awareness of all the kinds of beauty that surround them. Don't fill their lives with video games, computer time and mindless movies. Teach them the joy of spending time in nature. Take a look at the night sky and marvel at what the eyes behold. Plant a garden, and enjoy the odessy that takes a plant from a seed to a vegetable or fruit. Raise a pet or many pets. Let mother nature unfold in a multitude of ways.

Provide good books with a wide variety of content so that the child can enfold his body and enrich his mind in learning new things. Teach the child about music of many kinds for music can soothe or excite, relax or offend. It is an important outlet for self-expression so encourage participation in playing a musical instrument. Art is another excellent area for self-expression, so provide time and encouragement to experiment with various art forms.

We teach foremost through our own actions. By choosing to be happy, we become a valuable role model for our youngsters. As human beings we must be satiated on the body, mind and spiritual level. Help your children learn about these levels, if not with words, then with actions. They will develope into well rounded, secure, happy, people who will become fully self expressed, even in a world of unhappy people.

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