It is one of the most difficult decisions one will ever make in life whether or not to divorce. To effectively end what was once your security and all your hopes and dreams for the future can be gut-wrenching and filled with doubt, shame and guilt. It is especially difficult for those who take the vows they made in the beginning at a true life-long commitment.

So how does one determine and accept that the marriage itself is without hope or the opportunity to grow through the normal ups and downs a marriage will inevitably be subjected to? Simply put, painfully! No one wants their dreams to end but in many cases there is no doubt what the eventual outcome must be.

If you are being abused in any way, you must get out!

We all understand and know what physical abuse is and the damage it can cause, but many often sustain emotional, verbal or mental abuse as well. If being with your partner hurts more than it feels good and your partner refuses to get help, it's time to end the marriage.

Your partner has fallen prey to an addiction.

If through your best efforts your spouse still will not seek help, it is time. Addiction is a highly destructive force within a marriage. Those addicted have different priorities than most people and are most often unable to remain emotionally attached to anything but their addiction.

Your home has become a battleground.

There is nothing more damaging to children than to live in an environment where the parents they love are constantly fighting instead of loving each other. Often times children will feel emotionally torn between the parents. Other times one parent or both will actually involve the children by degrading the other in hopes of winning favor.

Infidelity has become a pattern as opposed to a one time lapse of good judgment.

We all make mistakes in life, but those mistakes often lead to growth and understanding. If a partner in a marriage continually is unfaithful, the marriage is over.

When you wake every morning and wonder how you will make it through another day and constantly feel unloved, apprehensive, scared, hurt, betrayed or any other negative emotion, there is a very deep problem. If you have consistently sought out counsel and worked with your partner to find resolution to no avail, you must conclude the marriage is over.

Marriage should be a loving partnership between best friends who are capable of effectivley communicating with each other. There are most definitely bumps along the road. Marriage is not one long fairy tale. However, when those bumps become huge boulders and dipping deep potholes with little relief in between, some very serious thought and evaluation needs to take place.

Our first priority should be the health and happiness of all those who are directly affected by a marriage, both partners and the children. If everyone is hurting and feeling the effects of a dysfunctional marriage, counsel have been diligently sought out and all efforts have been made to resolve any issues without success, your marriage is over.

That decision should never be concluded quickly or with little thought. It must however, be the final conclusion when those affected are living in an unhealthy environment.

If abuse, addiction and/or anger and resentment have invaded your home and there is no relief in sight, you have a decision to make. Ending a marriage is never easy, nor should the decision me made lightly, but in some circumstances is inevitable.

A marriage is over when those involved would lead healthier and happier lives apart , then they would together.

Learn more about this author, Kristal Mcvicar.
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