by Daisy Rosario

Created on: June 26, 2008

"Open marriages" are often idealized because they allow room for expression but leave too many open windows for exploration... While my husband was away at medical school, I stayed at home college. We understood the risk of separating this way, but the payoff was a priority. We saw each other during vacations. We were young, in love, and believed an "open marriage" would work for us. New friends, flirting, even dating was allowed as long as we stayed in open communication. Besides, college work had us extremely busy for social life. No threat. That year, we saw each other only twice. Christmas was intensely passionate. I began field work at the psychiatric unit at the city hospital. He began internship at the university's ER. We shared everything. I told him about my girl night-outs, the flirting and even occasional dating. Thanksgiving came and Harris wrote, "I'm not be coming home this Christmas. Too much work here and I don't have a replacement. I'll be home for Spring." We hadn't seen each other for eight months! We longed and ached for each other.

I visited Puerto Rico for Christmas with college friends. My college buddy and I stayed in Isla Verde. One night, we returned early to prepare for a "parranda" weekend. We drank and overlooked the ocean; talked as usual. We both missed our loved ones. I had sex that night, with my best friend! I loved it. I hated it. I felt awful for not regretting it. I packed at 5:20AM and left. I wasn't going home. Guilt trip or none, I had to see Harris. I could be cool about this; after all, we had an understanding. So why was freaking out?
The taxi found his campus house. The door was open... Harris rushed to the door from outside; surprised to see me, puzzled, yet thrilled. He hugged me tightly. His scent made me quiver. "I'm on my way to the hospital. I really to have leave darling." Our kiss was warm, tender and deep. "I'll be back for dinner... you've given me quite a surprise". We made steaming love that night. Breakfast was silent until his neighbor barged in! I raised an eyebrow... I looked to Harris' face for an introduction. She demanded, "Aren't you going to introduce me?" A feeling of dread sank my heart. She introduced herself: "Hello, I'm Lorene, his fiance! Who are you?" I turned to Harris. He found strength to rise from his chair, "Lorene,this is my wife of 8 years, Mrs. Donna Seijo"
My husband never found out of my fiasco two nights before. We divorced by Spring. Having a open relationship really means you're willing to accept it can close any time, any day, any way.

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