by Heather Tinker

Created on: June 26, 2008

5 Tips for Improving Parent-Child Communication

In my experience as a daughter, a parent, and a licensed professional who works with children, I've found that good communication between parents and children is crucial to healthy relationships. In my personal and professional opinion, theses five tips for improving parent-child communication are invaluable:

1. Initiate Conversations

One of the biggest mistakes parents often make is assuming that their children will always come to them with the big problems in their lives. Telling your children that they can always come to you with a problem may not be enough. Did you always go to your parents first? Maybe, maybe not. Often, we parents need to do our best to take notice of how our children behave when they experience difficult emotions and use this information to our advantage.

I'm sure you've noticed certain telltale behaviors in your own children: Jana talks back more when she's had a bad day or Max gets quiet when he's sad. Instead of playing it safe and thinking they'll come to you, approach them and ask if your observations are correct. No matter how many times we reassure our children that we'll always love and support them, sometimes they still get nervous or embarrassed about approaching us with their problems. Sometimes we need to take the first step and initiate the conversation ourselves.

If worst comes to worst and you're sure your child is going through a hard time but he or she still won't talk to you, be sure to encourage your child to speak with another trusted adult. A good thing to do is to ask your kids to name some people, extended family members or a close friends of the family, that they would feel comfortable talking to if they felt they absolutely could not go to you. Speak with these people and get them involved. This way, you can have peace of mind knowing that, should something come up, your child will always have a trusted adult to turn to rather than having to muddle through things alone or rely on peers for advice.

2. Ask Specific Questions

I'm sure every parent has asked their kids if they had a good day or what they did while they were at school and been met by the most frustrating responses in the world: "nothin'," "stuff," "not much," "yep," "nope." Here you are, trying to be the best parent you can be and take an interest in your child's life, and the only response you get is, "uh huh." Some of this can't be helped and getting some information from your kids will be like pulling

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