by Kenneth Gregory Smith

Created on: June 26, 2008

Living. Loving. Learning. Laughing. These are not words that one would normally associate with chronic pain (defined as pain that lingers longer than six months and does not respond to regular medical treatment). But if one is to survive, and even thrive, despite the pain, these four words and the attitudes and choices that they represent must be integrated into the chronic pain sufferer's life. Let's take a closer look at each.

LIVING: The chronic pain sufferer (hereby known as CPS)must immediately deal with the question, "what will my life be life now?" Negative and unhealthy (but understandable) responses include surrendering and withdrawing, anger and bitterness, and wishful/magical thinking. These responses sabotage the CPS's life. While it's true that the CPS's life will never be the same, the CPS can choose to find meaning and purpose, set goals and priorities, and remind themselves that they are more than their chronic pain. Here are some examples of life affirming beliefs of CPS:
"I choose to accept this even though I don't like it."
"I am valuable for who I am, not what I do."
"I will choose to make the best of this."
LOVING: The CPS can continue to accept support and encouragement from others, and continue to be a support to others. Love is sacrificial and unconditional. Having chronic pain does not mean losing self-esteem. The CPS can choose to care for themselves and give and receive love in the context of relationships with family, friends, and fellow sufferers. One crucial area for the CPS involves the sharing of emotions. Repressing, denying, or avoiding feelings can lead to increased stress and can negatively affect relationships. One of the goals for the CPS is to find safe people to share feelings with.
LEARNING: One of the questions that trained psychotherapists like myself often ask clients is, "What good can come out of this situation.?" One CPS client of mine learned to practice patience and frustration tolerance at a level that they seldom displayed before their onset of chronic pain. Milton Erickson, a well-known psychotherapist, once said, "Experience is the best teacher." CPS can let their pain teach them.
LAUGHING: Humor is healing. Humor release positive chemicals in our bodies. Sometimes humor is spontaneous, but CPS can plan humor by watching TV or movie comedies or reading joke books.
Living. Loving. Learning . Laughing. Four important words for chronic pain sufferers.

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