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A very sad marriage is also a sick marriage. The feelings of loneliness were always present even when we were together. If we tried to talk we ended up yelling, accusing, blaming each other for all the hurt each of us felt. The quarrels grew to almost hand to hand combat. Then as if storm was about to approach, a strange cold calm came over us. We didn't look at each other anymore, especially if we thought the other might see this. We spoke only as needed and without passion. Mechanical days and nights passed until we couldn't bare it any longer.

You might think this happened over a couple of months maybe a year or two but the truth is we endured a bad marriage for 27 years. Some of the years we managed a little happiness. Most of those years it was a sad and sorry excuse for a life for the two of us and our children. Such a waste!

Neither of us wanted to hurt the other we just did. If I was hot he was cold; he was funny I was mad. I liked music, dancing, friends and a social life while he was reclusive, tired and stressed all the time. He was dragged to outings with friends and I was dragged to his family gatherings. He smoked, I didn't. Both reluctant to admit how we truly felt we simmered inside and let our anger build. In that case the fight would be about something else just as stupid. Our fights and quarrels were seldom about issues that we could understand. No, we did not get counseling. We thought we knew what was wrong, and that wasn't very smart either.

I thought he was lazy and unambitious, that he was boring. He felt I was too sexy for my own good and wanted too much. He told me I could not get or hold a job, that I was stupid.

We were so pitiful that if a stanger met us in a group with other couples they never put us together as a couple!

We seperated numerous times through the years only to put our silly, insecure personalities back together. Just about everyone and especially our kids knew we did not belong together.

Love is about love, happiness, working together, being able to build a stronger relationship. Love is not dependent and we were both dependent. We thought we loved each other and in our own sick way I am sure did to some extent.

We have been divorced many years now. We are friends today and can visit and enjoy our family gatherings as a family for our children and grandchildren. Our divorce was the end of the hurtful hearbreak we had as a married couple. Our divorce was the right thing to do. Our marriage was wrong, very wrong, and should

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